Have you ever noticed that dating while living with your parents is a challenging thing to do? What do you do if you don’t want your parents to meet the person you are dating? Do you feel like you are a 15-year old child with the rules and restrictions they impose? What are the benefits of living with your parents? How can you juggle your parents and your boyfriend or girlfriend?
It’s all a big headache, right? Well, there can be advantages to living at home with your parents. In this article, we will try to answer the questions asked above to best help you balance it all in the right way.
One thing to keep in mind is that your parents are giving you a place to come home to, so you should treat them with respect. Many people would love to live at home with their folks, so try not to take it for granted, and don’t just think that you have a rough life because you live with your folks. Think of the many benefits you have! Let’s explore the topic more!
- 1 Tips When You Date While Living at Home
- 1.1 1. Negotiate house rules with your parents
- 1.2 2. Tell your dates you live at home
- 1.3 3. Introduce serious boyfriends/girlfriends to your parents
- 1.4 4. Respect the rules set forth by your parents
- 1.5 5. Plan dates for outside of your home
- 1.6 6. See if you can have a closed-door policy
- 1.7 7. Give your parents the details of where you will be
- 1.8 8. Take the dating advice given to you by your parents with a grain of salt
- 1.9 9. Stand up for yourself if people give you a hard time about living at home
- 1.10 10. Learn your parents’ schedules to plan for privacy
- 1.11 11. Weigh the pros and cons of moving out
- 2 How to Make the Most of the Situation
- 3 FAQs
- 4 To Sum Things Up…
Tips When You Date While Living at Home
1. Negotiate house rules with your parents
One of the main things you will want to do when dating while staying at home is to talk to your folks about the rules of the house. What will your curfew be? Do they need to meet each person you date? Can you stay over at your boyfriend’s house? How do they feel about overnight guests? Is there any room for negotiation on these matters?
Ask them if you can earn their trust by doing certain things and earn more privileges, like an extended curfew on the weekends. They may be willing to compromise if you approach it this way. You really won’t know until you try to talk it over with them. Give it a shot; what do you have to lose?
2. Tell your dates you live at home
There’s no reason to lie to the people you are dating. The best relationships are built on trust, so go ahead and tell them you live with your folks, especially if you have been on several dates with one person.
3. Introduce serious boyfriends/girlfriends to your parents
Many people are introduced to relatives after a specific number of dates. There’s no reason for you not to introduce them after several dates. You may not want to do so on the first date since you aren’t sure how it will work out, but after a few dates, you certainly could. It may even make things easier for you.
4. Respect the rules set forth by your parents
Your parents probably have certain rules they expect you to follow, and sure, it’s a pain, but you are living under their roof, so you ought to respect what they wish. If you feel they are completely unreasonable, talk to them about it or start looking into moving out to live on your own. Find alternative solutions if you feel they are too strict.
5. Plan dates for outside of your home
Getting out of your house may be your best option when dating others. You could hit the movies, mall, beach, bowling alley, or local theatre. You may find dates like this to be more rewarding than just sitting at home watching television!
6. See if you can have a closed-door policy
Basically, when I was growing up, we weren’t allowed to have our doors closed if the opposite sex was over. We had to have our doors open so that we couldn’t get intimate with each other. If you want to have this type of privacy, you should talk to your folks about it ahead of time. See what they think about allowing you to lock your door, too!
7. Give your parents the details of where you will be
Whether you live with your folks or not, this could be a smart idea. If you have just met someone online, it’s always a good idea to let someone know where you will be and what you’ll be doing while going out on a first date with a stranger. This is for safety reasons and to just make you feel at ease over the dating situation.
Also, you will be letting your folks know the details about your dating agenda, which may put their minds at ease. This is a nice way to show respect to them and make them feel as if they are a part of your life.
8. Take the dating advice given to you by your parents with a grain of salt
If you live with your folks, there’s a good chance they will want to give you their advice on dating. You may find this annoying over time, and you may even want to argue with them over what you believe to be true, which is different from their opinion. Keep in mind that you want to show them respect, and you don’t have to follow their advice.
Just listen to what they have to say, be polite, and remember that you do not have to take their advice. It’s just their opinion.
9. Stand up for yourself if people give you a hard time about living at home
If your friends give you a hard time about staying at home, you don’t have to sit there and take it. You can just ignore it or point out all the benefits you have that they do not. Ask when the last time they had a heart-to-heart talk with their mom or dad. You may be able to shut them up easily like that.
10. Learn your parents’ schedules to plan for privacy
If you know when your folks will be out of time or know their work schedule, you can invite your boyfriend or girlfriend over during those times. However, remember that unexpected things happen, so there’s a chance that they may show up at home unexpectedly; be prepared for something like that to happen, just in case it does.
11. Weigh the pros and cons of moving out
You may want to think about moving out at some point, especially if you are thinking, “I can’t live with my parents for one more second!” What would the cost of being on your own be? Can you afford it, and how would your living situation be changed for the better?
Think about all the pros and consbefore taking the leap.
You may find that you have the best situation as it is and that working around staying with your folks isn’t that big of a deal in the big scheme of things. Make a big list of the benefits and challenges you are facing by staying at home to determine what’s best for you. Would you have to find roommates if you moved out? What would that be like?
Ask yourself all the major questions before jumping to a conclusion. Make sure you have thought it through before thinking of moving on. Many people would feel lucky to be in your shoes, so also think about that. You get free meals and free room and board, presumably. You probably have other perks you haven’t even thought about!
How to Make the Most of the Situation
There may be times when you find the best solution is to include your parents in your dates. Have a movie night with popcorn and the whole family; invite your boyfriend or girlfriend to join in on the fun. This way, all of you can get to know each other better in a low-stress environment. Get creative, and find ways to include your parents in your plans so they feel part of your life.
Another creative way to enjoy living at home while dating people is to have a trial run at the playing house. When your folks are out of town, you could take advantage of the situation and playhouse, pretending you are the husband or wife and your boyfriend or girlfriend is the other spouse. This might give you a feel for what it’d be like to be married to this person!
You can certainly have a dating life even though you live at home. Many young adults find it to be the best of both worlds – getting to date others while having the benefits of living at home. It can be challenging at times, but you can certainly make it work.
You can tell your parents that you are going out with girlfriends rather than boys. Also, you may just want to say you have after-school activities or have to work late when you really are going out on dates. Alternatively, just wait until they have plans before you go out.
You should be honest about what you want to do; you may also want to mention that his parents will be home during that time. That may put their fears at ease. Alternatively, you can ask to spend the night at a girlfriend’s house and not mention the boyfriend.
You can just casually mention it over breakfast or dinner – whenever your family gathers together to chitchat about the day’s events. Explain that you are dating someone and would like to let them know about it. This way, you are upfront and honest about your dating life.
Being a guest in someone else’s home can be quite challenging, especially if it is for an extended period of time. If you do not get along with your in-laws, you may find that being around them too much is overwhelming. Your spouse may act differently around his mom, too.
To Sum Things Up…
Are you living with your folks and wondering how to juggle your dating life and all that? Or, have you figured out how to balance it all? Please share your comments in the section below. We’d love to hear from you! Also, please share this post with other people!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.