You may have heard the phrase “you are out of my league,” however this is not something you should ever really worry about when seeing someone.
Stable relationships that last a long time are built on an emotional connection rather than social status or even looks. If you are compatible with an individual, those other things don’t really matter.
The idea is that people come from different leagues and if someone is “out of your league” it means that they are too good for you. However, this notion is dated and not based on reality. You should never try to figure out whether you are in their league or not, as it is not a true parameter anyway. Focus on your compatibility instead.
Don’t think that you cannot date someone because of their looks, intelligence, popularity, or social standing. Rather consider the person’s personality and whether they are right for you. If you ever feel insecure in your relationship, it is important, to be honest with your partner about how you feel and let them put your mind at ease by reassuring you.
Keep reading to find out about seeing someone out of your league…
Dating Someone Out of Your League
Just because someone on a dating site is in a higher-paying job than you, it does not mean that they are better than you.
Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses and has gone through their own struggles to get where they are in life. You should never judge or be judged for your position in life, nor should it affect your relationships.
Dating can be overwhelming and scary, even without supposed leagues. Avoid worrying about these types of things and look instead for a person that matches your interests, personality, and passions. These are the things that matter in a relationship. If you truly meet “the one,” you will be able to look past one another’s flaws and downfalls.
No one is perfect, and just because someone comes from a wealthy background or has been more successful in their career so far, it does not mean that you are not completely worthy of them.
However, if anyone treats you as if they are better than you in a relationship, it is time for you to walk away and look for someone that treats you with the respect that you deserve.
1. Don’t worry
When you are seeing someone, you should not have to worry about whether or not they are in your league. Leagues in relationships do not exist and they are an old-fashioned stereotype. Rather than considering if you are good enough for a person, consider whether you are compatible and whether you make one another happy instead.
2. Walk away
If your partner treats you as if they are better than you, it is time to walk away. No one is better than anyone else and if this person makes you feel this way, it is important to remember the respect you have for yourself and walk away from them. You deserve a partner who treats you in a way that you deserve to be treated and makes you feel special.
While income can cause difficulties in a relationship, just because your partner earns more than you do it, does not mean that they are better than you. If you are compatible and have fun in your relationship money and finances should not come into play and they should not affect what you have together.
If you ever feel insecure or you feel like you have low self-esteem, it is important to communicate openly with your partner about how you feel. Talking to your partner can help them to reassure you about the reasons that they are with you and why they love you. Your concerns are likely based on nothing, but they cannot help you if you don’t let them.
Some people may believe that they are not worthy of someone because they are not as attractive as them. However, relationships are based on personalities and compatibility rather than appearance and looks. Stop worrying about your looks, and instead consider whether you make each other happy. If so, you are likely meant for each other.
6. Look for intimacy
Stop worrying about whether the people you are seeing are in your league or not and instead try to find someone you can connect with on an intimately emotional level. Real relationships are built on a deep emotional connection rather than whether you are in the same league or not. Try to find a partner that you can truly be yourself with.
Just because an individual has gone to university and you haven’t, it does not mean that you don’t have a whole list of strengths that make you a great person. You shouldn’t have to worry about whether you are clever or intelligent enough to date a certain individual. Look after your self-worth and respect yourself. Find someone you are compatible with on a deeper level.
Rather than considering whether or not you are in the league of the people you are seeing, consider whether or not you share the same values or opinions. These things are a lot more important and will affect whether or not you will end up staying together. If you have hugely different values, you are likely not a good fit for one another.
It is also important to consider whether you have a similar lifestyle to the people that you choose to date. If you love doing certain things, you should not have to give them up when you start seeing a new individual. They should simply fit into your life and you should be able to continue doing what you love with them by your side.
10. Be yourself
When you are going on dates, it is important to be completely yourself. Let them fall in love with who you really are and avoid trying to fit their league or act like someone you are not. You want to find an individual that loves everything about you. You may think that they will like you better if you act a certain way, however, they will know if you are not being true to yourself.
You will only find a true connection if you really open up and connect on a deep level. To do so, you must be yourself in every way. Don’t hide aspects of your personality from others, even if you think it makes you more attractive.
11. Show interest
Rather than worrying about whether or not you are in their league, show interest in their lives and the stories that they tell you. Show a real and deep interest in their passions and interests and this will enable you to develop an authentic connection. Whether you are in their league does not matter in a partnership, but having an interest in one another does. Ask questions and really get to know them.
The phrase “you’re out of my league” supposedly means that someone is better or more successful than you and you would never be able to be in a relationship with them. However, this is an archaic and dated phrase that is not based on reality. Consider instead personality types and find someone that is compatible with you on a deeper level.
There are no leagues in partnerships despite the dating myths that have been presented. Finding the individual that is right for you on an emotional and intellectual level is more important than their success or looks. Avoid worrying about whether someone is in your league or not and look for a real connection and deep compatibility instead.
You should not have to stop liking someone because you believe they are out of your league. Leagues in dating are not real, so talk to them and see whether your personalities match. You may find that you are not meant to be because you are not emotionally compatible rather than the fact that they are out of your league. Or, things may work out between you.
Batting in a relationship supposedly means you are seeing someone that is better than you. However, there is no way to tell whether or not someone is better than you and it is useless and unhelpful to try. Instead, consider whether you are happy together and whether you are compatible on deeper emotional levels. If your connection is there, that is all that matters.
Submarining in dating means that you are seeing someone that is in a lower league than you. However, as stated above, leagues are not real in dating and no one is really better than anyone else. Instead of worrying about these comical and useless terms, consider whether this person makes you happy and whether you are compatible with one another on a deeper level.
To Sum Up…
Dating can be difficult, even without useless notions of leagues. No one is better than another person and it is important to remember that when you are dating. If someone treats you like they are better than you in a relationship, it is time to walk away. Instead, look for a real connection and an individual that makes you happy rather than worrying about leagues.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.