This repeated cycle of dating more than one person at a time can be exhausting and complicated, but it’s not impossible. While many people that date multiple people at the same time are seen as players, others just like to make sure they get to know as many individuals as they can and make a choice when they are ready.
Doing this isn’t necessarily wrong because many are trying to protect themselves and not make the wrong decisions. However, it may not be right too because some guys or ladies date multiple people just for sex and lack respect for others. By getting to know two or more potential partners at a time, there’s probably lying, deception, and a little pretense involved too.
Now, while nobody has the right to judge, take a minute to ask yourself why you’re not sticking to one relationship. Do you date multiple people for the thrill, to play them, or to make a more informed decision?
Regardless of the reason, I’ll be offering some tips to help you navigate through the crowd when dating multiple partners.
- 1 11 Do’s And Don’ts Of Managing Multiple Relationships
- 2 What You Should Do
- 2.1 6. Avoid growing attached to any of the people you’re dating
- 2.2 7. Be as honest as possible
- 2.3 8. Accept that you might not get any of the people you’re dating to be committed to you
- 2.4 9. Work on becoming irresistible in every way
- 2.5 10. Your life should be full despite your dating multiple people
- 2.6 11. Rid yourself of any sign of guilt
- 3 FAQs
- 4 In Conclusion
11 Do’s And Don’ts Of Managing Multiple Relationships
1. Don’t follow the crowd
Many people, especially singles, make the mistake of following other people’s leads because it looks like they are getting away with whatever they do. However, the fact that someone got away with doing something that is morally unacceptable doesn’t mean you’ll escape the consequences that come with doing the same thing.
You should only be involved in such a dating game if you’re sure that’s what you want to do. Don’t join the crowd of people dating many partners for the fun of it or people who don’t care about the feelings of the individuals involved in the process.
2. Don’t take on the challenge if you can’t see it through
When it comes to dating many people, you need to have the emotional and even, physical stamina to handle the stress of dating more than one partner. Dating someone is work on its own, dating more than two or three would need a lot more time and effort.
So, ask yourself if you will be able to distribute your attention equally to different partners while you live your regular life. If you’re someone who can multitask and manage such a feat without getting hurt, then keep reading this.
3. Don’t take on too many dating partners at once
Even if you think you were born to be a master at dating more than two or more people, you shouldn’t overdo it. For example, don’t date more than three to four people at a go to avoid confusion and too much stress on you. The people you’re dating may or may not know they are with someone who has many partners, and they will still want you to devote quality time to them.
If your partners exceed four, you’ll begin to lose track of your dating game. To avoid making the dating process overwhelming, frustrating, and futile, make sure you limit the number of people you’re dating at the same time to two or three at most.
4. Don’t make the mistake of having unprotected sex
When you’re involved with more than one person, it will be best if you don’t start having sex with all of them but, if you must, don’t ever forgo using a condom or birth control. Having sex with many partners can be confusing and dangerous in more ways than just contracting sexually transmitted diseases.
It can lead to emotional attachment to each other, jealousy that can lead to physical assault, or plain confusion when it’s time to choose someone out of the ‘group’. Therefore, keep it simple by not complicating the situation with sex.
5. Don’t begin multiple dating on lies
People go on dating apps and lie to get sexual hook-ups, while some don’t tell the person they are dating that there is someone or other people in the picture. Of course, using dating apps to do this may make it easier to do this, however, the internet is one really sharp two-edged sword that can end up poking you in the back if you’re not careful.
As much as possible, don’t start dating any of your partners under the guise of lies.
What You Should Do
6. Avoid growing attached to any of the people you’re dating
Humans, especially women, find it a bit hard to detach themselves from developing feelings for the people they date. When sex is involved, it becomes even more difficult to not feel something for the person.
When you are dating multiple people, you need to build a wall of protection in your heart and let your head lead else, you’ll be fending off both your feelings and the guys you’ve shared them with.
7. Be as honest as possible
Honesty is very important in most situations, even when you’re dating more than one person at a time. Honesty in this case is not limited to just informing them they are not the only one you’re dating but, also communicating with them what you want out of the dating process.
Indeed, you’re not in a relationship with them but, the dating period is a prelude to a committed relationship which requires absolute honesty too. If you don’t see a potential relationship developing from dating someone, don’t lead them on to think there is any chance of a relationship.
8. Accept that you might not get any of the people you’re dating to be committed to you
Dating multiple people doesn’t give you the guarantee that love and relationship will develop after giving dating a try. Just as dating one person might not be successful, dating multiple people might not bring you a permanent committed relationship either.
As such, you should prepare your mind for whatever outcome you might experience and plan to enjoy every moment with your multiple partners.
9. Work on becoming irresistible in every way
As much as you’re preparing for any eventuality, you shouldn’t give up on the game before it has ended. Set yourself up for success by grooming and spicing yourself up in a way that makes you irresistible to your multiple partners.
Understand the uniqueness of each guy and work towards appealing to each person’s peculiarities. It’s a lot of work and that’s why you should limit the number of people you’re dating at the same time.
10. Your life should be full despite your dating multiple people
Dating multiple people shouldn’t take away the other important things in your life. The fact that you are dating multiple people doesn’t mean your life should be on hold. You had your career, family, friends, recreational activities, and other aspects of your life before you committed to dating multiple people.
If you aren’t able to juggle these important parts of your life with dating these people, you shouldn’t go for the multiple dating scenario. Your life should be full; enjoy hangouts with friends, maintain family time, and spend time alone with yourself without any interference from the multiple partners you’re dating.
11. Rid yourself of any sign of guilt
It is easy to fall into guilt when you’re dating multiple people, especially when you’re struggling with your emotions for each of your partners. The opinion of someone who doesn’t understand what you’re doing can also make you doubt the fairness of dating multiple people.
However, you know why you’re engaging in multiple dating and that you aren’t doing it to hurt anyone. As such, don’t allow guilt to set in. Instead, allow yourself to enjoy the dating process and your time with the people you are dating. The opinion of other people doesn’t matter unless it is in agreement with your decisions.
It is not ‘bad' to date more than one person at a time, as long as you’re doing so for the right reason. When it becomes ‘not okay’ to date more than one person at a time is when you’re already in a committed relationship or if you are being dishonest with your multiple dates.
There is no specific count for when to put a stop to multiple dating. After going out with these different people, who do you feel the closest connection to? Who makes you happy the most? Who shows the most evident signs of affection and importance for you? It could be after the first five dates or the 20th before you get your answers.
Dating is not the same thing as being in a relationship with someone. As such, there is no promise of commitment between the two people. Therefore, you wouldn’t be held responsible for sleeping with someone else even though you’re dating another. However, it is good to be transparent with the persons you’re dating and let them know you’re not yet committed to them in any way.
It might be too soon to say I love you after the second date if you don’t know your partner very well. However, once you’ve already decided to be in a relationship where you are devoted to each other, saying I love you can either come in a few weeks into the relationship or months.
Kissing is going a step further in sealing your potential relationship and so, it is a sign of trust and not just of sexual attraction. If you feel comfortable with the person after the second or third date, you can allow kissing. If it takes you a long time to feel safe, there’s no crime in that either.
Not everyone can play the game of dating multiple people because of how exhausting the process can be. However, if after reading this article you feel like it is the thing for you, do so with these tips in mind and have fun while at it.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.