The thought of dating an artist undoubtedly sparks some sense of adventure and awe within. You have to admit, they are peculiar creatures and there is no doubt that their creativity spills into other aspects of their lives.
It is not only the creativity that draws people to men of craft, it takes some unbridled passion to come up with project after project, imagining that passion being directed at you is intoxicating.
I've known a few women who dated artists and there is one thing they'll always say, ‘You better know what you're signing up for before dating an artist.' Of course, it is not all good or bad, but artists are unlike most guys you'll meet out there. So, without further ado, here are 23 things you should know before dating an artist.
- 1 23 Things To Expect When Dating An Artist
- 1.1 1. They set high standards for themselves
- 1.2 2. Things may get a little messy
- 1.3 3. They will stare at other women
- 1.4 4. He may not like it when you touch his work
- 1.5 5. They have mastered the art of being considerate and inconsiderate
- 1.6 6. Alone time is golden
- 1.7 7. You'll see a lot of battle scars
- 1.8 8. His sense of humor will be different
- 1.9 9. They can't read passive aggression
- 1.10 10. They are quite in touch with their emotions
- 1.11 11. Artists are a bit obsessed with themselves
- 1.12 12. His mood can change in a split second
- 1.13 13. They are not the best communicators
- 1.14 14. He's a deep thinker
- 1.15 15. Don't take all his excesses
- 1.16 16. Master the art of taking care of yourself
- 1.17 17. Stop waiting for him to change
- 1.18 18. Learn to look at the lighter side of things
- 1.19 19. Embracing the clutter will become a way of life
- 1.20 20. Don't feel like you have to save him from his emotions
- 1.21 21. Your social life may suffer
- 1.22 22. You'll be his inspiration
- 1.23 23. You'll start seeing life with fresh eyes
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Summarize
23 Things To Expect When Dating An Artist
1. They set high standards for themselves
When it comes to their work, they set extremely high standards for themselves. If he is a painter, then he might often get nitpicky about his shading and colors, even when it looks fine to the naked eye. If the level of his art is not where he wants it to be then the mood swings may start rolling in.
It may seem annoying at some point, but look at it this way, he will show that same dedication, even in situations that have nothing to do with art. Whether you are having a conversation, exchanging ideas, or making love, he will set the same high standards and strive to give it his all.
2. Things may get a little messy
Regardless of whether it's a discussion or your house, get ready for things to be a bit messy. If he’s a painter, then there may be splotches of paint in places you did not know paint could touch. If he’s more into writing, then you may find scribbles here and there, pieces of paper, books among other literary materials.
It just comes with the field of art, when they feel the need to express themselves, that might be a problem for you. If you really want to be with him, then look at other aspects of the relationship that you enjoy, because things will keep getting messy.
3. They will stare at other women
I just said ‘stare’ because I don't want you to think that every guy who's an artist sleeps around. But they will look at other women a lot. Think of the world as museums for them, they seek out the beauty in the relics (humans). Many relationships have gone down the drain for this, but if you want to date an artist steadily then get used to it.
For the most part, they don't mean to stare at other people, but artists are drawn to beauty, including yours. The fact that they settled down into a relationship with you is an indication that they are willing to make things work.
4. He may not like it when you touch his work
Artists think of their work as their children and they have a special relationship with anything they create. If they are not ready to let you take a look at the art they have created, then you best respect their wishes. It may still be a work in progress and they may be trying to garner more ideas to ensure it reaches the point of perfection.
Don't hold it against them if they don't let you see their work right from its inception, you probably will be the first person to catch a glimpse of the finished product.
5. They have mastered the art of being considerate and inconsiderate
Here is the thing about relationships with artists; they still maintain this sense of autonomy and their art comes first. They won't think twice before holing themselves up in their studio or study for days. Even more, they will do this with a complete lack of remorse, while they are creating art nothing else really matters.
But once that's done, they become the most doting lovers. You won't even know how to remain upset because they'll pay as much attention to you as they did to their art. Keep it at the back of your mind that they love you, but can only really concentrate that energy on one thing at a go.
6. Alone time is golden
Let's piggyback off the last point, artists value their time alone. That's why it's so easy for them to lock themselves away from the world for days. Yes, they still love you and will dote on you as much as possible, but you have to learn to be brave through those quiet periods for the relationship to work.
Do not make them think they have to choose between their love for art and their love for their girlfriend. Altogether, look for other things to do while they are engulfing themselves in their art, you may even find the space refreshing.
7. You'll see a lot of battle scars
Whether it's paint or ink stains from writing, you're going to find a lot of battle scars on their body. But that's not all, you'll probably find some cuts, scrapes, burns, bruises, and other blemishes. You never know with them, they go through a whole lot to make their art come to life, and because of that, they have had to develop high pain tolerance.
So, brace yourself and don't get freaked out. Sure, you love him and don't want him to get hurt, but getting hurt is part of his reality. But it is not a bad idea to encourage him to wear safety gear where it applies.
8. His sense of humor will be different
Now, here is something you may find a bit odd at first, especially because you may not share his sentiments. He may suddenly burst into laughter at museums or crack his ribs because of the simplest knock-knock joke. You see, artists are blessed and cursed with vivid imaginations and as such, they dig a lot deeper into simple jokes and hypotheticals.
Think of it this way, immediately they hear that story, it creates art in their mind's eye. They can see the whole thing playing out and even go as far as to add their own personal touch.
9. They can't read passive aggression
Relationships can sometimes be compared to a minefield, you never know when one of you is going to set one-off. But here's the thing, when he does something that does not sit right with you, simply tell him. He will not be able to read all your cues because he's quite right-brained. In other words, he is probably 100% in terms of creativity but lacks solid analytical skills.
I know it's often difficult to spit it out once it happens, if that was the case, all relationships would be less tedious. So, don't expect him to read you the way he does with his art, just tell him what his crime is and hash it out.
10. They are quite in touch with their emotions
An artist does not fret away from their emotions, they do not find the notion emasculating or off-putting. After all, art is all about expression and emotions, so it would be counterproductive if they could not dig deep down and tap into raw emotions, that would be something else.
Depending on how you like your guys, this could be pleasant or uncomfortable, so it is a good idea to know it right off the bat.
If you prefer to have a macho partner, then you may have a more solid chance with someone who isn't into art. It takes a lot of emotions to power an artist.
11. Artists are a bit obsessed with themselves
You can't stand self absorbent people? Then perhaps you should look beyond artists because they can't get over themselves. I don't mean that they only talk about themselves, but they love being the center of attention and will go on and on about their art and other aspects of life.
Picture this, you both go out with friends and everyone is chipping in to the conversation. Best believe that your boyfriend will probably not let anyone else get a word in once he gets started. The good thing is that most artists are well-versed, so there won't be a dull moment. He will probably have everyone in stitches and love every second of it.
12. His mood can change in a split second
This happens a whole lot with people who have such a wide range of emotions to deal with. But it's a bit more elevated for artists because their sense of importance and all-around perfectionism is heightened. They can go from happy to broody in a split second because the shade of blue wasn't blue enough.
Think of it this way, you know how you're often very critical of yourself? Well if you amplify that you'll probably be able to understand how artists feel.
They manage to exude confidence but are equally quite critical of themselves. Based on that he may have a mood swing or ten in one day, just be supportive.
13. They are not the best communicators
As I mentioned earlier, artists tend to get engulfed in their art so much that they can't really relate to the outside world. If you're someone who loves to chat, text and call, then this may throw you off a bit. In simple words, he will not text you often or even reply to your message on time. And the texts he does manage to send across will sometimes be incoherent, especially if he's under a time crunch.
Don't take this the wrong way, it does not mean he doesn't think about you, he's simply trying to tackle one thing at a time. He is not a master multi-tasker, so the more you try to take him away from his art, the more he drifts away.
14. He's a deep thinker
While many artists are extroverts and enjoy being the life of the party, they are pretty deep thinkers and can often seem withdrawn from reality. They aren't doing it on purpose, they simply need that to be able to connect with the world around them to produce art. So, don't get it into their head that he is ignoring you, he's just in one of those moods and once he figures out what to do, he will be back.
This phenomenon can be quite frustrating, especially if you enjoy being showered with attention. But, you simply have to go with the flow if artists are your type.
15. Don't take all his excesses
By now, it probably feels like you have to endure quite a lot to be with an artsy person. But you don't have to bend over backward to please his majesty all the time. You are a vital member of the relationship so put him in his place when he takes it too far. There is no manual for love, but there are times when one or both parties may cross an unspeakable line.
Don't sit back and take it every single time because he's a sensitive soul. If something bothers you so much that it keeps you up at night and makes you shed tears in secret, talk to him. He's a human that loves you and will most likely seek to make reparations.
16. Master the art of taking care of yourself
Being with an artist is a full-time job, believe me when I say that he can be demanding in more ways than one. I'm not saying you should not support him, of course, that's what you signed up for. But you can't do it to the detriment of your happiness and sense of self. Thankfully, artists tend to disappear into their shells now and then, while that's happening, take time to recharge.
Once you start getting the hang of dating one, you'll realize how emotionally draining artists can be. So, don't hesitate to ‘do you' whenever you get the chance.
17. Stop waiting for him to change
For the most part, artists live in a world of their own making. He could do something effortlessly cute, but after a while, it becomes a bit too much for you. His playful nature could get on your nerves and he'd be oblivious to the fact.
All he knows is that he's expressing himself with the lady he loves and there's no fault in that. Even after you've stated your grievances over and over again, there are some things you'll just have to let go of.
He's an artist and for the most part, they are stuck in their ways. Like I mentioned earlier if you can't stand something, be verbal about it, but try to take the good with the bad.
18. Learn to look at the lighter side of things
Take a look at this as an extension of the previous point, if you want to maintain a functional relationship with an artist, then you'll need a sharpened sense of humor. I'm not saying he's not a human being, but you have to admit that he does some things that are pretty out there.
Learn to have a laugh about it, because internalizing it will most likely annoy you. The day you lose your sense of humor (and wonder) is the day you should probably call it quits.
19. Embracing the clutter will become a way of life
I probably mentioned something about artists making messes, well think of this as an extension of that point. Don't nurture any unrealistic notions that you'll somehow teach him how to organize his art or reel it in when he's overcome by the need to paint, scribble, or mold.
The likelihood of that happening is slim, so just embrace it. Expect to find things in odd places and expect that he will forget where he's dropped a few of those things.
If you have low expectations for him on that front, you're leaving room to be pleasantly surprised every now and then.
20. Don't feel like you have to save him from his emotions
When you care about someone it is hard to see them in pain, sadly art and pain go hand in hand. At times, artists feel this deep sadness or frustration that locks them away from you and makes you feel needed.
Understandably, you feel upset he's not letting you in or suddenly better because you're there for him. But, it's equally important that try not to internalize this, it's more about him and his art than it is about you.
He will often include you in his projects or give you some insight into something he hasn't shown everyone. That is his way of making you feel needed, so learn to read the signals.
This is not 100% true for every artist, but for the most part, they are lone wolves. Yes, they like attention, but you won't find them seeking out the company of others that often. Art on its own is very individualistic, you won't find them collaborating on projects as much as people do in the business or tech sectors. Most artsy people work alone and this spills out to most sectors of their lives.
22. You'll be his inspiration
He may not always paint you or write about you, but you will see bits and pieces of yourself in his work. You see artists don't just draw inspiration from what they see, they equally create it from within. Since you're a part of him, you'll see a lot of that in his work.
23. You'll start seeing life with fresh eyes
You may not become Beethoven or Picasso overnight, but you'll learn to appreciate the beauty around you. Once you spend more time with him, you'll start seeing things the way he does. It gives you a new view of what's precious in life.
There will be very high' highs' and low ‘lows' when dating an artist. Also, craft and real-life will always intersect when your beau is an artist. You'll have to live with the fact that you'll be his muse, some days, on other days he may be staring passionately at some other woman. Altogether, this man will love you in ways you have never been loved before.
Let me be straight, being in a relationship with an artist is not for everybody, not, many people can make it work. I don’t know if there is a combination between their talent and their temperament, but they are often described as being too much. Sentencing them to the confines of one relationship does not always work well.
According to everyone who has had the privilege to date an artist, the sex is off the charts. Since they already have a lot of passion and creativity, that translates to their love lives. Sex is more than a physical connection for them, It is a form of expression and often gives them inspiration for their work.
Let me ask you this, who isn’t weird? Many people walk around with quirks and weird habits, they aren’t necessarily artists. Nevertheless, when it comes to the usual standards for weirdness, you could probably call an artist weird. But it is important to note that not every artist is eccentric or too embedded in their feelings.
If you are a stickler for romance, then you should probably date an artist. Their passion seeps into every aspect of their lives and they are always honest, especially when you need to hear some harsh truths. They will equally share most aspects of their lives with you while giving you a reason to smile every day.
Being in a relationship with an artist is hard work, no matter what field they are in. Nevertheless, they are just people and if you know which buttons to push, it could end up being a very fulfilling relationship. I hope this article has given you some insight and inspiration to embark on this new and exciting journey.
Even more, I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic, what do you think would make such a relationship work? Let me know in the comment box below and do not hesitate to share this with someone who needs it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.