Falling in love with someone is very uncontrollable. Sometimes, we meet people and just naturally love them without any reason. Matters of the heart are beyond physical reach and must be treated as such.
The truth is, dating a younger man has slowly become a thing. We see many celebrities either dating younger men or an older man that’s old enough to be their father. Many people are slowly accepting it, but, it does not mean you won’t still get negative responses or criticism for making such decisions.
People will always talk about whether it’s right or not, especially when it’s a woman dating an
older man. When a man dates a younger woman, it’s seen as suitable. However, when an older woman starts dating a younger guy, then many see the relationship as pathetic or forced.
But you should not focus on that. trying to please people, or explaining why you made your decision to date a younger guy as opposed to older men will be futile. Rather, your attention should be on considering certain things before getting into a relationship with a man younger than you.
So, if you are thinking about dating a younger guy, here are some major things you should consider first. It doesn’t matter if it’s a month or years gap, keep reading to know the things to consider before starting a relationship with a younger man.
- 1 17 Things To Consider Before Dating A Younger Man
- 1.1 1. What do you really want?
- 1.2 2. Different priorities
- 1.3 3. Emotional maturity
- 1.4 4. Career success
- 1.5 5. Level of tolerance
- 1.6 6. Societal pressure
- 1.7 7. Physical looks
- 1.8 8. Limited time for fun
- 1.9 9. Commitment level
- 1.10 10. Sexual appeal
- 1.11 11. Different perspectives
- 1.12 12. High rate of distraction
- 1.13 13. Being the “mother” figure
- 1.14 14. Financial status
- 1.15 15. Past issues and challenges
- 1.16 16. The way you feel around them
- 1.17 17. Compromises
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
17 Things To Consider Before Dating A Younger Man
1. What do you really want?
Like I said earlier, the heart chooses the direction it wants to go. Age should not be considered as a red flag even though it may be a great factor.
Yes, you sort of found yourself with this sweet younger man, and to be honest, you haven’t had much luck dating older men. However, before starting the relationship, it’s important to consider what you really want. Are you testing the waters by dating a younger man? Will this be the first of many to come or do you want to settle down with this guy?
Tell him if you just want to have fun, get intimate, or have a breath of fresh air from the usual. Whatever you want, make sure you let him know so he can decide if he wants it as well or not.
2. Different priorities
It doesn’t just happen in age-gap relationships. It happens to everybody. Some couples tend to have it all figured out while others don’t.
Initiate a conversation about your individual plans and goals. Weigh them and see if you’re both going to be fine if you tweak and work on them together. As a woman, you don’t want to complicate his plans or yours as well, you both want to be happy. If this is not possible, you should give it sometime before starting a relationship.
3. Emotional maturity
To be honest, dating someone younger may not be as emotionally satisfying as you’d want. You should know he may not have as much experience as you when it comes to relationships or taking responsibility.
He may grow with time but for a while, his approach to situations or communicating his feelings may be a little different from what you’re used to. You can’t get into a relationship with a younger man and expect him to act like an older man. If you’re patient enough to help him grow, then that’s okay.
4. Career success
As a dedicated career woman, you should observe his reaction and how he responds when you talk about your career with him. All play and no work would make you feel a bit unserious; especially if you’re used to beating deadlines, having business meetings, and sharing the updates with your partner. Dating someone that shares that drive is very important.
5. Level of tolerance
A lot of women like feeling empowered when they’re in relationships. It gives them more space to have control over certain things. Dating younger men may just give you the liberty to be at more liberty than usual.
So, if you find a younger man that doesn’t mind letting you be you, it doesn’t matter if you’re an older woman you should give the relationship a shot.
6. Societal pressure
You really want to consider this as an older woman thinking about dating a younger guy. People would always be there to say something. Some may say it behind you but trust me, the bold ones will come face-to-face to advise you.
If you’re easily intimidated or influenced by pressure, be sure to take your time and be ready for anything that will be thrown at you. But if it’s nothing to you, then go ahead and do it. After all, it’s all for your happiness.
7. Physical looks
No doubt, younger men look cute and fresh and sometimes. As a woman, dating younger men comes with such perks. That doesn’t mean older men don’t still look good, but a younger dude may have that youthful body and appearance that you crave.
The beauty of one partner adds to the other partner physically and otherwise. Research has it that most women date younger guys because of their looks, so they can boldly walk around feeling like a woman on top of the world. But does he also love your looks? It should be mutual.
8. Limited time for fun
While you’re thinking of how to relax and have fun, a younger man is probably thinking of how to be at his office, improve his career, and make a name for himself.
They’re stressed about many more responsibilities than you would be. So, while you have time for vacations, spontaneous dates, or surprises, compared to you, younger men just want to be successful before they get older. If you're the kind of woman that doesn’t mind, then go ahead.
9. Commitment level
This happens a lot in many relationships but it’s really common in age-gap relationships. You may both be on different levels of commitment without knowing.
A younger man’s level of commitment is different from an older man’s, which makes number one on this list a huge priority. You don’t want to be planning your future with someone who just wants to have fun or have fun with someone who wants to be with you forever. So, keep that in mind.
10. Sexual appeal
I have heard from some friends and confidants that they get involved with younger guys because of their stamina in bed. I mean, who wouldn’t fall for this?
However, as the older woman, be sure you’re both sexually attracted to each other. You should also be certain you both speak the same language in bed whether it’s spontaneous or not. It looks like it’s insignificant but it’s something you shouldn’t overlook.
11. Different perspectives
In addition to your age difference, you both grew up in different environments so how you perceive things can’t be the same. When you bring up different topics to discuss with him, how does he respond? Do you accept his views or do you feel like correcting him?
Whatever the case may be, if you can survive, live, or flow with anything he says, I think your relationship will go well. But if you can’t, I’m sure you know the right step to take.
12. High rate of distraction
Some younger men tend to be distracted a lot. One moment, they may be into you and the next minute they’re into some random girl. So, you may consciously have to do exciting things to keep him.
Give yourself some time to study them if you want something serious for the long term. Bring up different mind games and see how they handle them. If you’re in for it emotionally, that should be reciprocated. One-sided relationships are not the best. You would know when a younger man would be willing to stay.
13. Being the “mother” figure
This happens with older women a lot. They have a particular idea of how things should be or how people should approach situations.
If you feel you fall into this category of women, you may want to reconsider dating a younger man. They love to be wild and free and do things they may or may not regret later in the future. So, either minimize this or you save yourself the heartbreak.
14. Financial status
It is as obvious as it sounds. I mean, the age difference isn’t the only factor to consider, so many other things would differ as well.
Except he’s one of the few ones that succeed at an early age, be ready to support him financially. Ask yourself if you’re okay with footing most of his bills or being on standby when it comes to spending cash for his needs. If you’re rich enough and willing to do this, sure! Go ahead and be with your prince charming.
15. Past issues and challenges
As far as it’s not your first relationship, you both would have baggage from your past relationships; good or bad.
Don’t forget, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have experience from the past because he is younger than you. He has issues to deal with as well. Also, remember that he would not handle them as you would.
He may not be able to say how it exactly hurts but you should try to find out from him to know if you can cope with it. You wouldn’t want to be used as a rebound when you’re expecting something beautiful to come out of the relationship.
16. The way you feel around them
Depending on the kind of age-gap relationship you want to be in, listen to yourself, and pay attention to how you feel when you’re with him.
Do you feel off? Or do you feel warm and accepted? This matters a lot. Your comfort and well-being have to come first before anything else.
At least you should feel free when talking to him and not feel like you’re being judged or going to be judged for making a particular statement or gesture. Don’t confuse it with when you had a bad day and he comes around and starts a conversation without knowing what happened.
You should also consider how much you’re both willing to sacrifice. It’s already a lot that he’s younger than you. Don’t just jump in and make things more complicated.
If you feel you’re so in love with him and you’re willing to let go of some habits just to make the relationship work, that’s a good start as well. And if you’re also willing to give it a try even when he’s not open to letting go of some of his bad habits, then that’s your personal choice as well, but just be careful.
There are a lot of benefits to dating a man that is younger than you. He would be open-minded and adventurous. His physical look would put you out there as ‘more beautiful’. Your confidence as an older woman would attract him more, and their energy in bed would be awesome especially if you take time to climax. Your maturity is a major turn-on for them.
First off, everybody likes being shown off. Date him and be proud to let everyone know that you’re proud to be with him. Be true to your initial agreement on the kind of relationship you both discussed. Keep an open heart and take their interest as important as yours. Just love like you would love yourself and still keep your independence.
He would keep in touch as often as he can and volunteer to help in any way he can. He may fix dates, be affectionate, and suggest more activities to bond both of you more. Sometimes, he may chip in a bit of the flirty attitude in the most respectful way. When you’re not around, he would talk a lot about you especially to his loved ones. His knowledge or the way he talks would start becoming more mature just so he matches your level of maturity as the older woman.
Personally, I feel age does not matter, but a lot of people frown at it. People would want you to follow their rules so they believe you should tilt to their criticisms. As they say, love conquers all.
If there’s a mutual understanding and you both feel you can survive each other’s flaws and live together in harmony without regrets, age does not matter. Let yourself go, have fun, spend time together. Also, make sure he is of legal age and on the same page as you.
I feel if a couple has a lot in common, their relationship will last longer than imagined. However, it is advised not to date a man with so much age difference because then, the difference becomes too much and they struggle to understand and cope with each other. This sometimes brings a lot of unnecessary issues.
Live life, love life. Dating a younger man has its pros and cons but the pros can win if you keep your priorities straight. Try some or all the things I listed above and see how it goes. I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did, please drop a comment and share it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.