Love relationships are hard in their own right, but if you're dating a highly sensitive person, it's a different ballgame. It's easy to assume that your partner is dramatic or simply too in touch with their feelings. But a little bit of empathy can go a long way to ensure your relationship doesn't end prematurely.
This personality type isn't an abomination; you can date them harmoniously if you know how to settle your differences. So, rather than going through a version of a living hell, here are a few tips on how to date a highly sensitive person.
- 1 21 Tips On How To Date A Highly Sensitive Person
- 1.1 1. Don’t tell your partner lies
- 1.2 2. Give your partner alone time.
- 1.3 3. Take it easy with ‘change'
- 1.4 4. Keep things light at first
- 1.5 5. Be empathetic
- 1.6 6. Do some research
- 1.7 7. Remember that your opinion matters too
- 1.8 8. Tweak your immediate environment to suit them
- 1.9 9. Don't startle them
- 1.10 10. Try not to get moody around them
- 1.11 11. Don't mislead them about love
- 1.12 12. There are who they are, accept it
- 1.13 13. Don't pressure them
- 1.14 14. Be peaceful
- 1.15 15. Respect their ‘me’ time
- 1.16 16. Don't be shallow all the time
- 1.17 17. Never tell them they are too sensitive
- 1.18 18. Accept them for who they are
- 1.19 19. You'll need to tweak your body clock (not compulsory)
- 1.20 20. Help them with their naivety
- 1.21 21. Don't overwhelm them with bad news
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
21 Tips On How To Date A Highly Sensitive Person
1. Don’t tell your partner lies
Highly sensitive people are very intuitive, that's some vital information you should know going in. No, they can't read your thoughts, but they can read you. With that in mind, it's important to steer clear of the white lies because they will catch you in them. Think of it this way, they can sense your feelings in ways others can't, and in a way, they feel it too.
So, try as much as you can not to glaze over issues in an attempt to keep the peace. That singular move may end up affecting you and your husband in ways you cannot imagine.
2. Give your partner alone time.
If you're someone that likes to be around your partner every single day, then, highly sensitive people may come as a mystery to you. Among some of their most pressing needs is the desire to be alone to recharge once in a while. Whether you are dating one that's introverted or extroverted, they often need to take some time out to balance the way they feel.
Even if you're married and bunking together, there should at least be a separate room they can sit in now and then without criticism or judgment. Just giving them that space to recharge will do your relationship worlds of good.
3. Take it easy with ‘change'
Change is a painful process for just about anyone, and it's even more so when it comes to highly sensitive people. If your husband falls into this category, then you need to be quite patient.
When I say change, I'm talking both positively and negatively; it can all be so overwhelming for someone with high sensitivity. With that in mind, you need to move more at their pace than yours.
After all, this is someone you love, his/her life is already hard enough seeing as others don't quite understand them. Altogether, relationships like this will work better if you don't impose changes out of the blues.
4. Keep things light at first
Things tend to get a bit intense in relationships when it involves a highly sensitive person. So, you have to make it easy for them to feel comfortable with you. Relationships are already daunting enough without all the pressure that comes with being too intense on the first few dates.
If you really want to get to know them more, it's imperative that you take it easy with your partner. With highly sensitive people, slow and steady does really win the race. For the relationship to thrive, you don't necessarily have to walk on eggshells around them, simply try not to lay any heavy needs on them.
5. Be empathetic
In life, there are many hard things you’ll have to do and if you have a sensitive partner; one of them is practicing empathy. Your partner may have many needs that do not make sense to you, acting out will only aggravate the situation.
It’s easy to get caught up in the woes of life and as such, you forget that your partner has feelings too. They may do things you find weird, but try to understand them.
I’m not saying that they should get away with all sorts of bad behavior, but, in all relationships, you need to pick your battles if you want to maintain your love connection.
6. Do some research
The same way you do a bit of reading about Virgos when you’re dating one, it’ll do you worlds of good to learn one or two things about sensitive people. The truth is that every relationship needs some sort of source material, it’ll help you understand what’s going on with your beau.
It will go a long way to ensure that you do not take things more personally than you should. They’ll most likely get a lot of judgment from others, but you should be their safe haven. If they are spending one too many nights secluded, or leading a sedentary life, you’ll be able to understand more.
7. Remember that your opinion matters too
In relationships like these, it is easy to simply walk around on eggshells just because you love your peace. But, you need to remember that you are also a part of the relationship. You have a say because your life is linked to this person. Don’t be aggressive about it, because that could end wrongly for both parties involved.
Learn how to communicate with the person you love in a safe space; once you figure out how to do that you'll be able to tell them when they are pushing your own boundaries. Being in a relationship with a person who is sensitive can be draining if you can't meet them at their level, so practice self-care too.
8. Tweak your immediate environment to suit them
Sensitive people can instantly get fatigued because of their immediate environment; it has something to do with the energy around them. One tried and tested way to ensure that your love interest doesn't get overwhelmed is to tweak the environment around them. Play down the noise, use a softer color palette, dim the lights, invest in plush furniture and so much more.
With all that, and more done you'll be able to limit the episodes they have. It's also a sure way to show how much you love and want them in your life. It's not rocket science, relationships like this will thrive if you're considerate in this way. They will feel free to let their guard down and connect with you in a way they don't work with others.
9. Don't startle them
This may seem like a small-scale issue, but you need to do this if you want your relationship to progress. Sensitive people can overreact, you probably already know this one, so try your best not to surprise them out of the blues. I'm talking the simple stuff, don't sneak up on them from behind, don't tickle them out of the blues and so much more.
To keep your relationship on the right track, it's important to be in tune with your partner's sensitivities. Not all relationships have the same template, so it may not be tickling or sneaking upon them. Simply figure out what pushes them out of their comfortable space.
10. Try not to get moody around them
In a typical love relationship, your mood actually has an impact on your significant other. Sure, life will deal you some odd cards, and it will probably affect your day once in a while. I'm not saying that you should not express yourself, there really should be no eggshells in a love connection. But if you can help it, don't make lewd comments, or give them an attitude.
It will do a lot more damage to them than it will to you. They will start questioning and doubting themselves which nobody wants. Find more ways to let your negative emotions out besides passively-aggressively transferring them to your partner.
11. Don't mislead them about love
Before dating a sensitive soul, you really need to be sure about what you want. OK, I'm not saying you need to marry them, just be more open about what you want from the relationship. Love is a big deal for most sensitive people, they pour more of themselves into it than you can imagine.
If you are infatuated, lusting after their body, or simply testing the waters, it's important to grow a conscience. So, if you aren't ready to love a sensitive person, move on to your next option.
12. There are who they are, accept it
This sensitivity issue is not a facade, it's a real-world problem. They aren't going to change simply because you want them to, this is how they are wired to exist and to love. Being emotionally sensitive and overly empathetic are inborn traits, you can't tell them to change, or develop thicker skin right out of the blue.
It's simply not in their nature and trying to push them to change or be something anything other than what they are. Surely, it will not yield the best outcome. If you truly love them, then accepting them with all their heightened emotions and scars is a great way to show it.
I'm not telling you it'll be an easy feat, but it's worth it. They have so much love and devotion to offer and it overshadows everything else.
13. Don't pressure them
Using pressure when you’re dating a highly sensitive person is one thing you should do less or avoid totally. They’re soft naturally and don’t like to be pressured or rushed into making decisions. They’d rather take time to observe things on the sidelines before jumping to conclusions which makes them loyal and honest partners when they finally commit.
Rather, take some time out to explain to them why you feel they should make a certain decision, why they should trust your advice, and how much you’re willing to be there for them during the process. You may not be able to win their trust at first since they take things at their own pace but if you give them enough time, they’ll come around. Just don’t pressure them.
14. Be peaceful
I would like to think that everyone wants to lead a peaceful life, but I've been around for a while and have been proven wrong. If you want to be with a sensitive soul then you need to learn how to take a pacifist’s approach every now and then.
Once conflict arises, they will most likely run in the opposite direction. In some rare cases, they will try their best to talk things out and get to the bottom of the issues at hand. Also, don't take advantage of the peaceful lifestyle, it can backfire and once the lid blows off, you won't like what you see.
15. Respect their ‘me’ time
Sometimes, they just need their space and time alone. If your partner withdraws from you to spend time alone, it does not mean they’re ignoring you, they just need space to breathe. They could take some time off to see a funny film, jokes or better still, write.
Because they are sensitive, once in a while, they like to have time away from people to be able to recharge. So when you see them all cuddled up under their duvet with a little phone screen to keep them busy, you could just offer a cup of coffee, juice, or water and let them have fun in their own space.
16. Don't be shallow all the time
Come on, you can't be deep all the time, so it's understandable when you do it once in a blue moon. But, don't make it a habit, when people are sensitive they get tedious fleeting conversations and entanglements.
If you want to make it far with a sensitive partner, then you really need to step it up conversation-wise. Ditch the small talk and try for more compelling topics when you can. They are incredibly intelligent so stimulate their intellect as well as their body and emotions.
17. Never tell them they are too sensitive
This particular label can send anyone over the edge. Look at it this way, imagine if you reacted in anger to something your friend did to upset you. If they suddenly told you that you were being too sensitive about it, that would undoubtedly rub you the wrong way.
It's even worse for anyone that's actually sensitive; they are sick and tired of being told that they are sensitive. In fact, they have probably heard it all their lives. Just let them journey through their feelings on their own till the point where they can let things go. Telling them they are being sensitive is not going to help matters at all.
18. Accept them for who they are
Most of my sensitive friends had a hard time finding people that would try to understand where they were coming from. Many guys would come and go, because let's face it, sensitive guys are amazing.
There's something about being with someone that goes out of their way to understand you, why don't you try to understand them too. Try to see beyond the fact that they often give heightened responses, look at how funny, charming, and quirky they can be.
All of that adds to the charm and allure that probably attracted you to them in the first place, it's worth trying to understand them.
19. You'll need to tweak your body clock (not compulsory)
Your sensitive partner will understand if you have to go to bed early because of work or any other engagements, so this is not a must. But it is a good idea to note that a sensitive person is most likely to be an insomniac, they will probably be up at very odd hours.
You'll enjoy this aspect of them if you can stay up because they come alive once the sun goes down. So, when you can, just keep vigil with them.
20. Help them with their naivety
As perceptive as they are, they can often be quite naive and that's where you come in. They sometimes have high expectations of other people because they do so much for people they care about. The crazy thing is they often repeat the same mistakes because of how much they want to believe in other people. Help them out with this because the world is a harsh place.
21. Don't overwhelm them with bad news
Stimulating environments can really get to people that are overly sensitive, another major culprit is stimulating news. If they don't need to hear stimulating news, then keep it to yourself. Sure, it's not a bad thing to keep your beau informed on current events and the rest, but if it's going to upset your partner, steer clear of it.
It's only in situations where the bad news affects them personally that you can go all out and let them know what's going on.
Yes, they can, in fact, they care deeply about their partner and are not likely to let the relationship fail on purpose. If there's anything you should know is that a highly sensitive person will love you and make you feel like you're their only option.
First, try your best to understand your partner, they are highly sensitive, not defective, so they probably won't change just for you. Also try your best not to take everything too seriously, make sure you don't play off their sensitivity. Remain level-headed, if not, you are going to have a bumpy life together.
Being sensitive is not the same thing as having a disorder or condition. It's simply a personality trait. Sure, it's quite common with people that suffer from ADHD, but it's simply a trait and not a disease. Highly sensitive people experience emotions a bit more than others.
In a nutshell, yes. Heightened sensitivity requires that the individual in question has to process a lot more information than an average Joe. Seeing as they need to process so much information, they have to develop their intellect alongside. That's most likely what makes them as intuitive as they are.
The last time I checked, high sensitivity is not a crime, so it really isn’t a bad thing. Sure, it may not be inherently bad to be a sensitive person, but there are things you do may rub people the wrong way. It's all about learning how to use the trait to your advantage and to deal with situations a bit more objectively.
Being with a highly sensitive person can feel like a full-time job. The feelings are all over the place and it often seems like there is no anchor. Relationships like this can drain you if you do not know how to adequately deal with situations.
With that in mind, I hope that this article has equipped you with various ways to lead a criticism-free relationship with a highly sensitive person. Feel free to drop a comment below and share this with someone who needs it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.