Do you have a clingy boyfriend? Are you wondering if having no personal space is normal in a relationship? It can be a sign that he is too clingy; it could also just mean he likes spending time with you. Not all relationships with clingy partners are doomed. However, it is a good idea to look at the behavior of your boyfriend to determine if the relationship will make it.
One sign of clingy behavior is if your boyfriend does not like it when you are around other people. If this brings out insecurity in him, he may have emotional or mental problems. It’s okay to want to spend time together, but you should be allowed to spend some time with other people, as well. Don’t think of your relationship as being in a bubble. It’s part of your entire life.
Think about what is best for you. Is your relationship actually healthy? How is clingy action on behalf of your partner affecting your relationship and the trust the two of you share? It might be a smart idea to talk to your partner to set some boundaries and determine if your relationship is worth continuing or not. Let’s explore the topic more!
- 1 Signs You May Have A Clingy Boyfriend
- 1.1 1. He wants to know who you are hanging out with
- 1.2 2. He stalks you on social media
- 1.3 3. He texts you all of the time
- 1.4 4. He always wants to know where you are
- 1.5 5. He calls you without giving you a chance to call him back
- 1.6 6. He always initiates affection
- 1.7 7. He plans every date in advance
- 1.8 8. He acts like his happiness is dependent on you
- 1.9 9. He expects you to do unreasonable things for him
- 1.10 10. He doesn’t give you time to spend with your friends and family
- 1.11 11. He doesn’t give you alone time
- 1.12 12. He makes assumptions too often
- 1.13 13. He makes you feel used from time to time
- 1.14 14. He has no interests or hobbies of his own
- 1.15 15. He doesn’t give you clear boundaries
- 1.16 16. He tells you everything
- 1.17 17. He is insecure about the future the two of you have
- 1.18 18. He tries to control your life
- 1.19 19. He gets jealous when you spend time with anyone else
- 2 What To Do About A Clingy Boyfriend
- 3 FAQs
- 4 To Summarize
Signs You May Have A Clingy Boyfriend
1. He wants to know who you are hanging out with
If your boyfriend tracks your every move, he is clingy and probably a little jealous and controlling. If he does not like you hanging out with other people, his clingy actions are affecting your relationship. You might want to think about whether he is the right guy for you. How much time do the two of you spend together? Is that clingy or healthy?
If he always likes, shares, and comments on every piece of social media you post, you may be dealing with a clingy boyfriend. He may have nothing better to do, or he may just want to know what is going through your head when you post on social media. The problem with social media is that it often contains false information.
How many times have you caught someone tagging you in a post only to find out that it has nothing to do with you? Your man may misconstrue the information and think that you initiated the post. Be careful who you friend on Facebook and what you post if you are dealing with a clingy man.
3. He texts you all of the time
Getting constant text messages can be sweet, but it can also mean your man is quite clingy. Does he ask you questions all the time via text messaging?
4. He always wants to know where you are
Delete the Find My Friends app. It can only cause problems in your relationship, and it isn’t always completely accurate. Your man may think you are at one place when really you are somewhere else – somewhere you told him you’d be.
5. He calls you without giving you a chance to call him back
If your boyfriend calls you all the time without giving you a chance to call him back, he may be clingy and needy. Ask him if he would please give you a chance to check your voicemail and call him back before calling you again if you believe this to be a problem. Discussing things like this with him could prove to be very helpful.
6. He always initiates affection
Girls love it when guys are affectionate and sweet, but there is also a time and place for everything. If he is constantly marking his territory with PDA (personal displays of affection), he may be quite clingy and feel as though he doesn’t want any other guy to get the impression that you are single when the two of you are in public places.
7. He plans every date in advance
Sometimes, it is necessary to plan each date in advance, especially if you have a crazy work or school schedule, or make plans with friends and family a lot. It may be vital to your relationship to have your dates scheduled because of your calendar or his! However, there are exceptions to this rule.
Some guys just want to make sure they know when the next time they will see their girl is. They need confirmation that you like them and want to see them at another time. Insecurities like this can be quite unhealthy for a relationship. You want your boyfriend to want to see you but not all of the time. That can be overkill.
8. He acts like his happiness is dependent on you
You should never be with anyone who makes you the center of their happiness. They should be happy in their own rite. Their life should satisfy them – whether you are in it or not. They shouldn’t need you to be happy. If you are with someone like that, you might want to rethink the relationship. Clingy actions like this are not healthy.
9. He expects you to do unreasonable things for him
Does your man like it when you cook, clean, iron, or do his laundry? These things can be sweet and may need to be done. If you don’t mind doing them, you could be just fine. However, if he does not show appreciation for these household actions, you may be dealing with someone who is controlling and quite clingy.
10. He doesn’t give you time to spend with your friends and family
Being in a support group or having a support system with your friends and family is a critical part of life. You need these people to keep you grounded. How can you possibly rely on one person – your man – for all of your needs? It’s not a good idea! Make certain that your boyfriend allows you to be with your support system whenever you need them.
11. He doesn’t give you alone time
Everyone needs alone time – time to themselves. You should be allowed to relax, get a massage, take a bubble bath, and read a good book without interruption from your boyfriend. If he does not like you to have space like this, there may be something unhealthy going on in your relationship. Think about what is best for you!
12. He makes assumptions too often
It is sweet when a guy worries about you, right? You love the attention you get, but is he too worried about you? There is a line that should never be crossed. If your man believes the worst in certain situations, his uncertainties are certainly not under control. He has issues with trust, and that should not be ignored since it’s crucial for you two.
13. He makes you feel used from time to time
Do you have something special in your life that your boyfriend feels a need for? Maybe you have a car, and he relies on you to transport him to work and back. While this isn’t necessarily clingy, it can certainly make you feel used. He is relying on you too much – unless you are happy to transport him around wherever he needs to go!
14. He has no interests or hobbies of his own
This goes back to him making his happiness dependent on you. Perhaps you love to crochet or to garden in your yard. Maybe he has adopted those hobbies as well just to be close to you. That’s fine, and it’s a little sweet, but he needs to have things that are important to just him. He should enjoy doing some things that aren’t of interest to you.
15. He doesn’t give you clear boundaries
I was once in a relationship where I could not even go to the bathroom without my boyfriend following me in there to discuss whatever was on his mind. Those actions are definitely crossing boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. Instead, you should ask for time alone when you do certain things, and your man should respect that.
16. He tells you everything
Don’t you just love falling madly head over heels for someone? You get to talking and decide to tell each other everything about yourselves. It’s a magical time in a relationship, but it can also get out of control. When your partner decides to “overshare” information, you may be looking at some clinginess.
If he talks non-stop, telling you what he ate, who he talked to, what he thought about all day, and where he plans to go next, he may have a problem. You need to decide if you are getting information overload or not. Is he reaching your limits when it comes to sharing? Does he tell you everything? Do you wish he would keep quiet at times?
17. He is insecure about the future the two of you have
If your boyfriend frequently feels the need to talk about your future, he could be very uncertain about what your future is. He is needing constant reassurance that you two are on the same page. This can be okay every once in a while, but if it’s his favorite topic, you may have a problem on your hands. That isn’t healthy for either of you!
18. He tries to control your life
A controlling boyfriend is never a good idea. You need to make sure this controlling behavior doesn’t get out of hand because if you allow him to act this way, it can easily get uncontrolled – to say the least. You want someone who respects you and doesn’t tell you what you can and cannot do or say. He shouldn’t control your actions in any way!
19. He gets jealous when you spend time with anyone else
This is a definite red flag. Does he want you to spend all of your extra time with him and only him? You should be allowed to go on group dates or hang out with your friends and family without him around all of the time. You need some time for the other people in your life.
What To Do About A Clingy Boyfriend
Consider Splitting For A While
Consider taking a break from relationships in general. By taking a break, you can best determine how to deal with your boyfriend and any insecurity he is making you feel. I once went on a three-month break from a guy, and it went really well. We were in a long-term relationship and knew we wanted to be together in the long run but were having relationship problems.
After three months, things changed. I realized that he was not the guy for me, and he called me up wanting to get back together. Of course, I thought it went well because I realized the relationship just did not make me happy. For him, I guess the split did not work out the way he had hoped it would. However, he was the one who initiated it, so it’s his loss!
Splitting from each other for a while may prove to be very helpful as you think about your relationship and how it is affecting your life. Do you feel like your man is too clingy? Can you talk to him about your problems without him getting irate? Does he fly off the handle when you discuss other people? Does he let you hang out with your friends? Split for a while!
End the Relationship
While no one loves this option because breakups can be messy, it may be the best option for the two of you. Think about what you want out of life, your goals and dreams, and how your boyfriend fits into the picture. Does he understand what you need in life? Is he hindering you from getting what you want and need out of life to live it to the fullest?
If you don’t see a future with the guy, the best option is to end things. Think about it this way: The longer you wait to end the relationship, the harder it will be to do it. It will hurt more the longer you wait. It will be harder to accomplish the longer you wait. Plus, no one wants to end a long-term bond, especially the closer the two of you get to one another.
Ask yourself if he makes you happy and can be seen as a long-term partner – someone you could one day marry. Having a solid marriage should be your end goal – if you dream of having a husband one day. Does he fit in the picture? Would he make you happy for the rest of the days of your life?
Work on Yourself
Another thing you can do when you are with a clingy partner is to examine yourself. Are you exhibiting clingy behavior? If he wants to spend all his time with you, are you letting him? If you have answered yes to these questions, it is time for some self-improvement. This may mean talking to a counselor or trained therapist or just speaking to a friend about the issues.
There’s nothing wrong with talking to someone about your problems. They might be able to listen to you in ways that your boyfriend can’t. Perhaps they could discuss the problems with the two of you – together. If you both go to couples counseling, you may find the answers you are looking for. A third party can hear the true meaning behind what you are trying to say.
A trained therapist or counselor can also give you practice exercises to do at home together. Maybe you need to improve your listening skills, or perhaps you are not giving your partner the time he needs to feel accepted in your life. You could learn how to listen better and make him feel more included if that is, indeed, the problem you are facing. Discuss it with someone!
One sign of a clingy boyfriend is if you feel suffocated. Another sign is if he doesn’t set boundaries in your relationship. A super clingy boyfriend will likely be insecure and exhibit clingy behavior. In real life, this means he doesn’t give you space and may have trust issues.
An unhealthy way to deal with a clingy boyfriend is to ignore his insecure behavior. Relationships are tough, and if your boyfriend has some insecurity about giving you a little space, that is a red flag that he is not the right guy for you. Set ground rules for the relationship.
If the clinginess leads to emotional abuse or an incredibly jealous partner, you should not feel guilty about the relationship, but you should ask for personal space to think about the major red flag you have uncovered. If a relationship survives this, you may make it in the long run!
If a girl is overly clingy, a guy will want his space. Talk to your partner to determine if he needs more or less physical contact. If you feel insecure in the relationship, you should determine why you are feeling that way. A clingy person often needs constant reassurance in a relationship.
If you have shown clingy behavior, your boyfriend may be spending time thinking about whether you are in a healthy relationship or not. Clingy boyfriends, on the other hand, might be ignoring you because of jealousy or a lack of physical affection. Use any free time to evaluate things.
So, the real question is, are you a clingy person? Do you have a clingy partner? What is a sign of a clingy boyfriend that you can think of? We’d love for you to talk about it in the comments section. Don’t feel guilty if you are clingy! Just work on yourself!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.