Can Step Siblings Date (9 Things To Know Before Dating Your Step Sibling)

Stepsiblings might grow up together, but they don’t always have the same bond that a biological brother and sister do. 

Instead, they can form a romantic bond. Before dating each other, you’re bound to wonder if this is illegal, if it is incest, and whether you should. It’s not incest to date your step-sister, and perfectly legal, but there’s a bit more to it than that. 

No one can tell you whether you should, or should not, date your step-sister aside from you, especially if you’re of legal age. Consider these things when deciding whether you should or not.

Can Step Siblings Date?

1. It’s not incest, so it’s not illegal

Even if your parents got married, it’s still not considered incest. This is determined by how close of a blood relative you are with someone else. Because you’re not blood-related, it’s not considered incest. You will be safe from any type of legal action. 

2. It is considered taboo in most places

it is considered taboo in most places

In some areas, blood relatives dating is perfectly fine. In others, it’s not. Consider your local culture. In most areas, a girl dating her stepbrother is considered taboo. Most still consider it to be incest even though it’s not according to law. Your family might feel the same way. 

3. It’s legal to get married

Some people might tell you that it’s illegal to get married because you’re related, but this is not true. You can spend the rest of your lives wedded to each other if you would like to. There is no law in the United States that you cannot marry them. 

4. Family gatherings might be awkward

Regardless of what the law says, or doesn’t say in this case, the family is another situation entirely. People might call you names or shame your parents if they have allowed this. One person might be accepting, but consider that outside of the norm for this situation. 

Some people that date their non-related family wind up distancing themselves from their family because of this. It’s important to be prepared for this before you start walking further down this road. 

5. Consider trying it out first

Those that are considering dating their step-sibling might want to think about trying it beforehand. Go on a few dates! Spend time at the movies. If possible, hold off on physical affection until you make a final decision. 

Figuring out that you don’t like them as more than a friend before mentioning to everyone in the family is better than finding out afterward. It’s always better to make sure before mentioning it to your parents. 

6. Casually dating is a bad idea

Casually dating usually winds up with one person having their feelings hurt. Regardless of who it is, you have to consider that it will be there, and you can’t go no contact. Even if the other person winds up being a toxic, narcissistic cheater you will still see them at Easter dinner. 

Think about the bad side of a nasty breakup. Imagine they remain friends with your whole family. You still share Christmas with them. That’s what it will be like. 

7. Make sure there are no ulterior motives

make sure there are no ulterior motives

If the other sibling is mad about the relationship, pause. Then, say no. Sometimes, they will try to cause problems in the relationship if they don’t like it. If you sense this or some type of rivalry, they might just be using you. Pay attention to their behavior towards the parents to know that their intentions are pure. If the other person is using you expect them to: 

  • Be slightly happy when the parents are mad
  • Show more affection around family
  • Call less as time goes on
  • Give you weird vibes that you can’t figure out
  • Dislike the relationship between your parents
  • Be aggressive in pursuing you

Behaviors like these don’t definitely mean that the other person is using you, but there’s a chance. Don’t fall for it. 

8. How will it affect your family?

You aren’t the only one that gets judged for this. In fact, a community might judge your entire household for it. It can take a long time to socially recover from something like this. Take a moment to consider whether it will have a negative impact on anyone that you hold close to your heart. 

At the same time, consider whether your parents would be okay with it. Sometimes, you might be surprised. Everyone thinks the world of their children, even those that are not biologically theirs, so who better for their own child to be with? 

There are a lot of stories online about families that have discovered this, been okay with it, and suddenly there are two couples at the breakfast table instead of one couple and the kids. Plenty of happy, lifelong marriages have been the result of this same question being asked. 

9. The main reason people don’t do this is fear of being judged

If you don’t care about people judging you, and you already know that your parents won’t, this is not that big of a deal. The main reason people shy away from doing this is because of the unwritten law that it’s not okay. If you’re not worried about negative consequences for the household or what society thinks, you’ll be fine. 

Another option that some people have both considered and done is to move away. A new community won’t know that you’re related by marriage if you do not tell them. This has helped some in this exact same situation to enjoy being together for life without having to deal with rude behavior, harassment, or any other negative consequences. 

If you’re seriously considering this type of relationship, this might be a nice option for you to consider as well. 

FAQs

Is it wrong to fall in love with your stepbrother?

No, it’s not. Sometimes, you can’t help who you fall in love with. Your heart wants what it wants. Being so close to someone lets you know everything about them, including the wonderful qualities that will make you fall in love.

Can you date your sibling?

Technically speaking, yes you can date your sibling. Merely dating without sexual intercourse or marriage is not illegal. Once you do either of those things, however, it is legally defined as incest. This is illegal. Some states can serve up to life sentences for it.

Why is incest a crime?

It originally became a crime because there are religious teachings against it and because children born from incest are more likely to have genetic deformities or mental retardation. Certain types of incest, such as father and daughter, break the bond of trust that forms and can psychologically damage a person in the relationship.

Can you date your step-cousins?

Yes, you can. If you are not related to them by blood, it is not incest. You can legally date them, have sex, and even enjoy marriage! Your children are not at an increased risk of genetic deformities, either. However, there are social consequences to consider.

Is it normal to be sexually attracted to your cousin?

Yes, it is. Cousins are usually not as close to you as other members, like your brother or sister. However, they can share quite a few traits with you, so you’ll find that you have a lot in common. Young children are also commonly attracted to a face that resembles their primary caretaker.

To Conclude

Yes, they can. There is nothing illegal about this! The main causes for concern are that others will see it as taboo, and it could cause problems with your parents. There are a lot of relationships like this that both survive and thrive, though. Do you know anyone in this type of relationship? What advice would you add?

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