Romance scammers are people who need a fast way of making money but believe they can’t do so if they don’t get close to your heart. They go on dating sites to find women to entrust them with their wealth and all manner of gifts.
Romance scammers are further classified into groups. They either want to trick the victim into falling in love with them to get money without any interest in meeting them, or they could be foreigners pretending to love you—so they can pass to the stage of citizenship in your country.
So the scam begins when they know they have convinced you enough to find a love interest in them, hence you become a victim. Don’t get this wrong, not every man you meet on a dating site is a romance scammer. Even though their romance scam could feel just as real as that of a normal relationship, some of them sometimes get to fall in love with their victims too.
But how do you get to know if it’s real love or a romance scam? Keep reading to find out 4 ways you can spot one.
How To Spot A Romance Scam
1. Difficulty in verifying their true identity
Scammers know what women love and they stop at nothing to achieve it. If you try to find them on other social media sites or any other dating site excluding the one you communicate with them on, you may not easily find them, or you may find them but it could be fake or with fewer.
But finding them does not guarantee that they are real because some of them take their time to put these things in place to make the scam work better. Don’t trust anything they say because they have already built up profiles to fit into their romance fraud with evidence to back them up at any time.
Romance scammers use very attractive or romantic names that can easily be shortened in a sweet way by their victims. Most times they save and send perfect pictures of models from the web to their victims. And if you observe closely, they’re never in family pictures.
They are always modeling for a product or in very exotic locations in front of nice buildings, cars, or beaches. When you ask for family photos that include them, they come up with different excuses of why they don’t spend time or are not included in family photos.
It’s hard to find out who they really are, especially if you search in social media and it’s something you should be careful about. Try not to confront them about their identity especially when you’re sure you’re a victim and you’re gradually falling in love.
Rather, take a step out. Reasons being that they could back out and plan afresh with the clues they have about you and different identity to get you. But it’s always good to try to know who they truly are.
2. They like to reach out first
A romantic scammer, most times, reaches out to their victims first. They like starting the conversation first because that way, they get to start the lines first and get to be in control as well.
A scammer could go on and on about how much love he has for you and how much he would love to be with you. But if you really follow his movements, you’ll notice a few things. They never leave their video on whenever you’re both on a video call and they always have excuses to back that up.
Secondly, they only pick specific times to talk on the phone and would most times prefer to chat or send voice messages. Also, they could arrange a trip just to meet you or arrange for a vacation for both of you but if you pay attention to details, you’ll discover something always comes up or he always has excuses to prevent those meetups from happening.
If this happens over and over again, you’re most likely dealing with fraud because these are one of the things romance scammers use to gain trust from their online romance victims. More so, they wouldn’t mind making it as real as possible to make you believe it.
So you could try looking out for that as well. Look out for how they respond when you reach out first and how well or fast they reply when you also talk about your personal problems. This is one of the ways to find out if they truly care or if they’re just scammers that are there for your money. If they do, that’s good enough.
However, if they don’t, at least you know exactly how to go about it.
3. Don’t talk about your job or income
Before criminals online reach out to you, they must have probably researched about you on other sites or gotten a clue about your job and the country you reside in from your profile. On your side, don’t let out any further information, no matter how pressured or in love you may be with them.
Even when you both agree that you’re officially in a relationship, you should still be careful of the kind of information you let out because they get and act on more clues from the things you tell them about yourself.
Relationships with criminals or romance scams could be very encouraging for you to trust but try not to say anything about your job or details about your personal life because of that. They could come up with plans that look real and convince you to indulge or invest money into it which could be very harmful to your life as a whole.
They’d claim it would benefit you as well and the faster you do it, the better for you. That's a scam.
Sometimes, it may not be the money, it could be them making you fall in love so they can use your status, especially if you’ve got a good job to relocate from their country of residence to yours for citizenship. And after that, your romance together is off without your consent.
So, you could start by saying you’re in your country for volunteer work but you base in a developing country until you’re sure your love for each other is real. This is another way to spot a scammer before he turns you into his victim.
4. They are always romantic and willing to help
Romance scams come in different ways you could ever and never imagine. A romance scammer knows exactly what to do and more to get you. You or other victims could wake up to romantic messages every morning, at random, or even during your calls together.
You might even receive a doorstep delivery of little gifts that cost very little but are good enough to get your heart, or a piece of art if you love those. Sometimes, he could steal and send a nice and romantic poem from the web just to melt your heart.
These thoughtful things often help them get through to many women’s hearts. And the more you fall for them, the more successful they become with their scheme. But this might not only be for money but also for those romance scammers that want to use their marriage to you to achieve either citizenship or any other physical accumulation of property or any type of wealth.
They know asking for help immediately may not work out for their scam plan as designed so they’d rather offer to help you first. The plan may be for them to pretend to offer you help in a family problem or any other personal issue but they may claim to have a delay in their finances or business plan, hence the delay in their help to you. That’s a scam too.
Or they could come off as if they need help to achieve a plan they’re sure will yield more money to help you also fulfill your needs in the long run. That’s also fraud. All these could be to lure you to give away your lifetime savings or something they know you have that could be very beneficial to them.
Can A Scammer Fall In Love With His Victim?
Not all romance scammers fall in love, and if they do, it’s in very few or rare cases. Their aim is to meet the woman online, make tempting promises according to their plans that are really hard to fulfill, and make her fall a victim to get the money and gifts they desire.
According to Romancescams, it’s not that it’s impossible for this to happen, but some romance scammers are narcissists or mentally stressed people who need victims to use and make money for a living while a few others are people who are already in relationships but need money to survive in their daily lives.
Romance scams are mainly done to satisfy the selfish interest of criminals and do not entail them giving back especially with their emotions. For the ones that want money, they leave their victim after they get what they want. But for the ones that go after things like citizenship or physical property, a few of them sometimes start falling in love with their victim without knowing.
The reasons being that they develop emotional attachment during the time they spend with their victim for their scams to work perfectly. Or, the time they need to spend to achieve certain things that have to do with law enforcement. So, it’s possible for a scammer to fall in love with his victim who could be you but you should find out who they really are first.
If you fell in love with someone online or you’ve been involved in an online romance, you feel your relationship has all the romance fraud signs, and you would like to know if it’s real or not, read the four tips I’ve written above to know exactly the direction to go. Also, if you liked this article, please feel free to drop a comment and share it with friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.