It is surely too easy to type the reasons for the end of a relationship and simply say goodbye over text. How your boyfriend may feel and what responsibility comes with a separation is all too quickly forgotten by the sender. Therefore, it is important to keep in mind that a personal conversation is always the better option. Breaking up through text is, however possible.
It can happen that you have to use texting to break up for certain reasons if you need to part ways, for example, if your boyfriend refuses to talk to you. It depends on every individual situation anyway. Keep reading to find out when you should break up over text and how to make this easier.
Breaking Up Over Text
You are avoiding having a personal conversation, if you break up with someone over text, however, it is sometimes necessary. Your boyfriend may be refusing to talk to you, ignoring your calls and so you have no option but to break up over text. You will both feel hurt, but of course, this is natural with any breakup, most at least.
By sending a text instead of having a face to face conversation, you will postpone the emotional drama you wanted to avoid. Often, the topic will likely come up again sooner or later. Maybe you will still have to have a conversation in the future anyway, and this may be even more awkward now that you broke up with your boyfriend over text.
So be prepared for the fact that breaking up over text may not be that easy and the situation isn’t necessarily over. You may have to explain yourself in a future conversation until your boyfriend can understand your decision. There is no perfect way to end a relationship but it is always best to break up with someone in person rather than through text.
1. Be respectful
If you have decided that breaking up over text is the only option for you, you should at least make sure that the whole thing is done respectfully. Think carefully about what you want to write when you break up via text. These tips will make sure that things stay calm and you are respectful to your boyfriend.
Before you send the message, think carefully about what you want to write to your boyfriend. Here are some tips you can use to show respect for your former relationship. After all, there was a time when you wanted to be with this person. Do not use cliched sentences. The message that you send has to be personal and come from your heart.
Don't be hurtful in your choice of words, that won't be of any advantage to you and it will only make the situation worse. Avoid blaming your boyfriend or shooting allegations at them such as “you never loved me/ understood me/ treated me well/ respected me.” This will only create a toxic situation between you and it will not help anyway.
2. Consider how they feel
It is important to consider how your partner may be feeling if you have decided to break up with someone over text. After all, you've already made up your mind and there is nothing that they can do to change this, so it is important to remember the hurt and pain that they must be feeling right now.
Be consistent in your decision, even if your partner tries to change your mind. Remember why you made this decision and don’t keep changing your stance as you will only end up hurting your partner more. Make your message clear so that there are no possible misunderstandings as this will only make things harder for your partner to deal with.
There is a lot of discussion about whether a messenger is a right medium for communicating a separation or a breakup. In any case, it is always better to have a conversation, but sometimes there is no other way. It is important that you are at least be aware of what emotions you may trigger in your partner with your text message so be sympathetic.
3. Think carefully about your decision
It is important to think carefully about whether breaking up is the right option and also to consider whether breaking up over text is the only possible option for you in this situation.
Once you have made your decision that you want to end using text messages, you should be aware of the pain you will cause to your partner.
Breaking up is not a pleasant thing – for anyone involved. This article is about how you can make the inevitable as pleasant as possible, although the end of a relationship is of course rarely pleasant. In most cases, however, the person who breaks up feels better than the one that is being broken up with, so be careful not to hurt the soon-to-be ex-partner more than necessary.
Consider your reasons for breaking up and think about whether they can be solved first. There are many different reasons to want to end a relationship with your partner. Maybe you have met someone new or want a new start, maybe your partner is treating you badly or you have drifted apart, and depending on this, consider how the best way to end the partnership.
4. Be prepared to feel guilty
People change, their opinions, feelings, attitudes on life and plans are subject to constant change, and so are their feelings in a relationship. Respect and loyalty should be present in a relationship and also play a crucial role in the separation. It is particularly difficult to end the relationship if the other person is very surprised by this decision and it appears to come out of nowhere.
If you know that this is the situation, you should think carefully about your decision and give the other person the space they need to come to terms with your decision to break up with them. There are a few things you should consider in advance so that you don't feel guilty about how you handled the situation later, but there is no way to completely avoid this feeling of guilt.
Make sure that you are completely honest. Avoiding telling someone the real reasons for the breakup is common. Perhaps you fell in love again or your partner disappointed you? Your partner has the right to be told the truth and not to be lied to. It hurts terribly if you lie because you are too cowardly to stand by the facts and then the truth comes to light in the future.
5. Don’t make false promises
Do not suggest that you still have feelings for the other person if you no longer do. If you don’t love them anymore, don’t tell them that you still do. This includes suggesting that you stay friends, even though you already know you don't want to. Remember that you did care for this person once so it is important that you don’t lie to them or make false promises to them.
Loyalty and respect are important in any relationship but also in the separation. What is said in the breakup conversation is often influenced by strong emotions and outbursts of feeling. It should, therefore, remain private between the two of you and not be talked about with your friends. But don’t promise to keep things private if you know that you aren’t really going to.
6. Consider what you want to say beforehand
It is important that you consider what you want to say beforehand rather than writing a quick text that you haven’t put much consideration into. Writing a heartful message is much nicer than sending one that is full of mistakes and may lead to a misunderstanding in communication between the two of you.
While breaking up with someone over text is never a perfect situation there are ways to have better communication. Take your time when you are writing it and don’t rush it, your boyfriend at least deserves this. However, make sure that you have considered every other option and you have tried to avoid sending a breakup text at all costs.
Make sure that you write the text in a sympathetic way that is not going to hurt their feelings any more than it has to.
It is usually not a good idea to break up with someone over text and all of your other options should be considered first. Breaking up is never a nice situation but by breaking up by text you are likely going to end things on a bad note and you may have to clear things up in the future. This future situation will be made a lot more awkward by your break up by text.
While a breaking up text is never going to be a nice thing for someone to receive, it may in some cases be the only possible way to end things. If they are ignoring you and refusing to answer your calls then this may be the only way to break up with them. Make sure that you are respectful and you consider their feelings when you send the breakup text.
If you have decided to break up with your boyfriend via text message it is important to consider all of your other options first. If this is the only way and you cannot break up in any other way for whatever reason, think carefully about what you want to say and remember that you did care for this person once so try to be as sympathetic as possible.
No one doesn’t feel hurt after a breakup. It is important to remember that a guy will feel as hurt by a breakup as anyone else. If this person loved you then it may take a long time for him to get over the fact that you have broken up with him, so try at least to do it in person rather than through social media, a phone call, or a text message.
If someone has gaslighted you, then the only way to break up with them may be via text message. This person may not deserve a proper breakup anyway if he has treated you in this way. All communication was apparently lacking in your relationship so in this case, it is suitable to send a breakup text message to this person for this reason.
All In All…
Breaking up with someone is never a nice thing but communication is key to making it easier. Try to avoid sending a breakup text message and try to do it in person instead. However, if breaking up via text message is your only option try to be as respectful as possible, consider carefully what you want to say, and don’t accuse or blame this person via text.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.