Why won’t he marry me?
Does he want to marry me?
You have always dreamed of a white dress, but he never wanted to wear a ring. When only one partner wants to get wed finding a solution can be difficult. Do you know any couples where the woman has been hoping for a marriage proposal for years, but her partner would never dream of going to the jewelry shop or getting down on one knee?
Have you been discussing the pros and cons of marriage with your partner for ages but he always focuses on the negative ones?
Don’t worry, you are not alone in this as it is very common and happens in many relationships. The one-sided dream to get engaged and being wed is one which you seldom find a compromise which pleases both partners.
Perhaps you desire to get wed because you desire security for you and your children, it was a dream that you had since childhood or something that your parents and family always wanted for you. Whatever caused you to desire to be wed doesn’t matter, every reason is important to each individual. Keep reading to find out what to do if your love partner doesn’t desire to be married but you do.
- 1 My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married
- 1.1 1. Remember That All Is Not Lost Just Yet
- 1.2 2. Do I Need To Break Up With Him If He Doesn’t Want To Get Married?
- 1.3 3. He Thinks Marriage Is Old-Fashioned
- 1.4 4. He Doesn't Want To Spend Money On A Wedding
- 1.5 5. He Doesn’t Think It Is The Right Time To Get Married
- 1.6 6. He Has Been Wed Before And It Failed
- 1.7 7. He Cannot, Or Does Not Want To Make Important Decisions
- 1.8 8. He Doesn't Want To Get Married And He Doesn’t See A Future With You
- 1.9 9. He Doesn't Ask About Your Long-Term Goals
- 1.10 10. A Man Does Not Want To Share His Money
- 1.11 11. He Cannot Deal With Conflict
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up…
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married
Have you always dreamed of marrying your dream man in a white dress and having all of your loved ones are there: your parents, siblings, best friends so that you can celebrate the most important day of your life together. But it seems that the dream of a wedding will never come true for you because your partner is not a fan of the marriage and he keeps coming up with new arguments against being wed to you.
He says marriage is old-fashioned and argues that just because everyone else gets married, it doesn’t mean that you have to as well. He says that you don’t have to wear a wedding ring to show your love for each other, and a wedding is expensive for no real reason. If he has told you one or more of these arguments, you may not know what to do next.
So what can you do if you have found the love of your life but he just doesn’t desire to propose to you or get married? You may be able to change his mind, so keep reading to find out how. First of all, you should remember that just, because he doesn’t hope to go down the altar right now, it doesn't mean that he will never change his mind.
1. Remember That All Is Not Lost Just Yet
So give him some time to deal with the topic of the wedding. Of course, this assumes that you have spoken openly about your desire to get married and you do not want to wait any longer for him to agree. Why doesn’t he want to get married and grow old with you? If you really are the love of his life, then he may not be fundamentally against the idea of marriage.
It only means additional effort and sacrifices for him, which he probably only wants to do if he sees benefits of it. Tell him what will change positively when you marry, starting with the fulfillment of your dream to financial benefits. The only important thing is that you should not force anyone to get married. If you feel you can't really convince him, marriage will not be a good idea.
Ask yourself why you want to get married, what is your motivation to get married, is it the celebration you would like to have, is it the romantic idea behind it? If he still hasn’t proposed to you but has he never said anything negative about a wedding, he may still be waiting for the right time and anyway who says the man has to propose, you could consider doing it instead.
2. Do I Need To Break Up With Him If He Doesn’t Want To Get Married?
He doesn't want to get married, do I have to separate from him now? Ultimately, you have to make that decision on your own.Consider whether marriage is so important to you that you would give up your relationship for it. Some women get so caught up in the idea of getting married that they no longer see what they already have, a great friend who loves them and wants them to be happy.
In this case, it is up to you to consider: would I be happier with another man who wants to marry me? However, if you have the feeling that your partner is always making excuses, but in reality, he is not planning to spend his life with you, then it is really time for you to start thinking about moving on from him.
Also, if you don't desire to give up the dream of a wedding then it may be time to move on and find someone who is willing to give you that. Being married is also a way of life and if that is your top priority, but your partner is reluctant to get married to you, you will always face conflicts with him in the future, so be aware of that.
3. He Thinks Marriage Is Old-Fashioned
The one thing you know for sure is that he doesn't desire to get wed if he says it to your face or speaks negatively about marriage and weddings in front of you. Then he probably says things like: “you don't need a marriage certificate to be happy” or “marriage is a long-outdated concept!” There are a number of reasons that speak against marriage but there are also many benefits.
Explain to him why marriage means so much to you personally and why you wouldn’t like to do without it. Tell him about the benefits that would come out of getting wed and see if this alters his opinion at all. He may just need you to tell him how much you hope to be wed and what it really means to you. If he sees how happy it will make you it may change his mind about it.
4. He Doesn't Want To Spend Money On A Wedding
From the smaller costs for the bridal bouquet to the larger items such as catering and location, a wedding costs a lot of money. If he asks you why does it cost so much to be wed or complains about how expensive weddings are then this may be the reason he wants to avoid getting wed. He may complain about the amount of money that needs to be spent someday.
If you go with him to one of your friend’s weddings, you may be able to convince him how great an occasion it is and how it is worth the money you will spend on it. There is no way that you can deny to him that weddings are expensive but there are some ways you can deal with his financial doubts. This may be one of the reasons he doesn’t want to be married.
You can save money in some areas, and if you want your guests to give you money instead of gifts, you can also get a lot of money back from this. You can quickly alleviate his financial worries by finding compromises with him. Tell him that you can also celebrate your wedding in a cheap but stylish way. This may change his idea of marriage.
5. He Doesn’t Think It Is The Right Time To Get Married
Perhaps your partner doesn’t want to marry right now because he doesn’t want tofeel so old so early on. You may not be happy with the answer, but it does mean that he isn’t completely against getting wed and he probably will propose to you when he thinks that the time is right.
In addition to being of the right age, the relatively short duration of your relationship can also be the reason that he is against marriage or he may just have so much else going on in his life right now like his career and his hobbies that he may not have the time to commit just yet.
Explain why you think you should get wed and that it is the right time and listen to his arguments in return. After all, you both have to feel comfortable with getting wed and agree that the timing of it is right. Some people just want different things.
6. He Has Been Wed Before And It Failed
Anyone who has gone through a divorce does not necessarily want to marry again immediately, especially if his ex-wife has turned out to be a different person than he thought she was. Give him the time he needs to get over his past marriage. At the same time, make it clear that you are not his ex-wife and that your potential marriage will not be the same as his last one.
He is afraid that the relationship will change through marriage When you get married, some people think that the exciting part of the relationship is over. Many films and television series often offer a very negative picture of marriage, which could trigger a certain fear in your partner of getting married. Some people just don’t always want the same things.
Try to alleviate his fear and explain to them that television or what other people have experienced has nothing to do with your relationship.
7. He Cannot, Or Does Not Want To Make Important Decisions
Men who find it difficult to make decisions about small things in everyday life may not be marriage material, not yet anyway. If, for example, he cannot even decide what food to eat in a restaurant or he cannot decide where he would like to live most of the time and is not necessarily known for his decision-making, then he obviously isn’t very sure of himself.
How should such a man be able to decide on something as serious as marriage? In this situation, it doesn't help to put pressure on him, but you have to ask yourself whether his behavior will change and if you are willing to wait that long for it to change.
8. He Doesn't Want To Get Married And He Doesn’t See A Future With You
In 10 years he wants to be the owner of a giant company, he wants to own a luxury apartment and a sailboat. Ask yourself whether he includes you when he talks about his future dreams. Does he talk about “we” or just about himself and when he says “we,” does he care or ask about what you think of it? Does he ask you where you want to live in the future and what you want to do?
Even if his dreams may be absolutely unrealistic, they are often an unmistakable sign of whether he sees you in his future or whether he is just thinking about himself. This is an indicator of whether he is a lone wolf or sees his future with you by his side.
9. He Doesn't Ask About Your Long-Term Goals
A man who plans his life with you is interested in your dreams and ideas as well as his own. After all, he wants to know if there is room in it for him, where there is an overlap between your dreams, and where compromises may have to be made. He doesn't have to ask for every single detail, but if he shows no interest in your future, he most likely doesn’t see himself in it.
If he plans a lot without you and distances himself from your life in several ways, he may not want to share his life with you. You will certainly wait a long time for a marriage proposal from such a man.
Married couples live together, share furniture, go on holiday together, and share their entire lives with each other, but when it comes to paying, does he always insist on splitting it equally. It is certainly true that a relationship should ideally be balanced in every respect including financially.
But what if one of you should lose your job? Would he immediately help you out without batting an eyelid and step in for you when you need him- even if he couldn't get the money back for an uncertain amount of time. You should seriously ask yourself this question in a relationship.
Would be willing to do it yourself for him and do you think your partner would do the same for you?
11. He Cannot Deal With Conflict
But when you bicker or argue about something, does he go completely crazy or try to explain what is bothering him? Does he try to solve the problem or does just shout and ignore what you are saying? Does he trust you when he's upset or does he exclude and ignore you?
If even the smallest issues are enough to start a huge dispute, this does not bode well for larger conflicts that deal with much more serious issues. If this is the case he may not be the right guy for you and he may not be marriage material.
If your partner doesn’t desire to be wed but you are hoping for an engagement and a big wedding you may be in a difficult situation. It is important to figure out whether he just needs more time before he is ready to commit or whether he will always be against proposing to you.
If your partner doesn’t hope to propose, it may be because he is scared of proposing or being wed. He may have had a bad experience or a divorce in the past that has ruined his view of it. Talk to him and find out whether this is the cause of his fears.
It is possible and common to love someone but not want to marry them. It may be caused by fears or negative experiences that you have had to do with marriages. Work through your fears and find out the cause of your refusal. However, no one should force you to do anything you don’t want to do.
It is important to decide whether being wed or your relationship means more to you. If you can never see yourself being happy if you don’t have a traditional marriage with someone then it may be time to consider walking away from him. If you want to be married, your partner may want marriage or he may want different things, speak to him before you make any decisions.
If you think that your partner is afraid of marriage then talk to him to try and find out the cause of his fears and determine whether there is anything that you can do to alleviate them. His fears may be related to past experiences, financial worries, or fears that your relationship may change.
To Sum Up…
If your partner doesn’t want to be wed, you may want to know what to do and whether you can save your relationship if only one person wants this. Nobody should resent anyone if he or she is scared or worried when it comes to getting wed. But if you become aware of these signs, you may need to rethink the relationship with this person as you may never be happy otherwise.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.