Dates can be really tricky. One moment you are all over this cutie and can’t wait to meet him or her. And when you finally do, it turns out it was a very bad idea. You would literally do anything to be rescued from the date, and that includes having the police arrest you. I think this is a very common situation everyone has had to deal with at one point in their lives.
In fact, statistics show that most women know whether they are into their dates within four minutes, and there is only a 12% chance that a guy will call a lady after a date. It is, therefore, evident that before you meet that right person who you will be able to connect with (with the right amount of chemistry), you are going to run into bad dates; a lot of them.
It might even make you want to write off dating on the whole. But the fact that a date is going bad doesn't mean you cannot do something to mitigate the disaster. With the right amount of creativity and mindset, you can be able to survive through any bad dates you may find yourself.
On that note, here are a number of ways you can survive some of the worst dates ever.
- 1 13 Ways To Get Through A Bad Date
- 1.1 1. Be open-minded
- 1.2 2. Manage your expectations
- 1.3 3. Be courteous and kind
- 1.4 4. Propose a do-over
- 1.5 5. Try to make it fun
- 1.6 6. Be positive
- 1.7 7. Leave if you have to
- 1.8 8. Find anything interesting to talk about
- 1.9 9. Get a friend to sound an emergency
- 1.10 10. Be honest
- 1.11 11. Ask your date about something they are obsessed with
- 1.12 12. Be clear about what you would like to do
- 1.13 13. Don't judge
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
13 Ways To Get Through A Bad Date
1. Be open-minded
One great way to survive a bad date is to be open-minded. Maybe you will not get an A+ on your fashion score sheet or he or she is too shy, try to look past all these and keep an open mind. Look past all these flaws. You never know what is happening in his/her life at that particular moment in time. So, don't be in a hurry to write your date off, just on a first impression.
First impressions are not always right. So, give your date the benefit of the doubt, and take it easy. Understand that, if you decide to take things easy, whether the date is the best you have ever been to or the worst, you will survive through it without spoiling the moment.
2. Manage your expectations
It is the first date, so you obviously need to keep your expectations to the barest minimum. It's a bit imprudent to have a lot of expectations for someone you barely know. Managing your expectations will leave you open to all that will happen during the date, and it will not adversely affect you.
Know that the lesser expectations you have, the fewer disappointments you will have if the dating experience doesn't turn out as well as you planned in your head, and your date didn't follow the script. With the least expectations, you can sit through a bad date. However, with a lot of expectations, you are bound to walk out because your hopes were dashed.
3. Be courteous and kind
One way you could survive a bad date is to be courteous and kind. Some people are really going through it in life, and the last thing they need is someone who will make it worse with his or her unkindness.
Even if the person you are having dinner with is not your type, be kind. Who knows? You may need their help in some time to come. They could also be your best friend, just because you decided to be kind even though the situation didn't necessarily require it.
4. Propose a do-over
If things seem not to be taking a turn for the better, and look very bleak, propose a do-over. Perhaps, the dating environment is not very suitable for you two, and it somehow is a reflection of the energy you are both experiencing at the moment. Propose to start the date from the beginning and start afresh.
It could be possible that anxiety got in the way of having a great time. So, as you start dating all over again, act as if you two are new, and the previous bad date never happened. Offer a second chance because sometimes anxious feelings get in the way.
5. Try to make it fun
Maybe your date is shy because he/she is not very familiar with your type of personality. For instance, you may be outgoing while he/she is basically an introvert. If that’s the case, try to release the tension in the atmosphere by engaging your date in whatever may make him/her feel free around you. Make them comfortable.
That's one of the underlying factors to make dating fun. If they are comfortable around you, they would also want to be themselves around you. This way, they can participate in more fun moments to come.
If your date is bent on being a killjoy, have fun by yourself. It's not your duty to entertain him or her. The fact that you are not vibing with your date doesn't mean you cannot have fun.
6. Be positive
Maintain a positive attitude and go with the flow. Even if you know you have something more important to do than spend time having a bad dating experience, be a good sport. Crack a funny joke and be engaging. Your date has feelings, so be kind and do not hurt them. And if you are not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with your date, be clear and kind about it.
7. Leave if you have to
Listen to your instincts. If you feel unsafe around your date during dating, or your date says or does something creepy (which causes you to suspect your life may be in danger around them), leave. Do not feel obligated to stay with them if your security is not assured.
8. Find anything interesting to talk about
Keep the conversation alive by talking about things that are not too hard for you to understand or interesting issues. One very good trick in the book is not to raise up topics that annoy you or aren't interesting, so you can be able to finish the date. Find a common ground so that you two can have the conversation as friends.
Once you two have common beliefs you can discuss, it will be easy to survive through the date. Also, where humor is concerned, try to find a common ground so that it won't make the conversation awkward. Humor has a way of making the atmosphere a comfortable one. But at the same time, it can make it also awkward, if not put rightly.
So, consider some safe humor factors based on the observation of your date. Find a safe ground so that your humor is aligned with him or her. It will make the date tolerable.
9. Get a friend to sound an emergency
Sometimes, you are at your wit’s end. You have done all you can to make the date a better one but it just seems that the vibe is off, and it keeps going from worse to worst, and your date is not being responsive. Tell yourself that bad dates are normal.
However, in order not to leave your date abruptly, consider texting a friend to call you about an imaginary problem and sounds like an emergency. Get your friend to call countless times so that you can tell your dates about the supposed emergency and leave. It helps.
10. Be honest
Bad dates are obvious to the two of you, and most times, you both know that this dating thing is going nowhere. So you have to be brutally honest and make it less overbearing than it is for the both of you. Be polite but straight to the point saying something like: “I don't think this is working, I wish you good luck”.
Don't be bullied by your date into convincing you to consider your future potential as a couple, when you know this dating is going nowhere. Rather, be stubborn if you have to, but be respectful while at it.
11. Ask your date about something they are obsessed with
Another way to survive bad dates is to ask your date about something they are obsessed with. Ask that question and watch the passion come back in his or her eyes as your dates start to talk excessively about what they are passionate about. People generally like to talk about themselves.
Eventually, this will bring up a certain spark, which you can keep playing around with—in the hopes of turning the fate of the date around. Or perhaps, you could also ask them about a very big problem that they have been able to overcome. It will open you up to the life experiences of your date. You could even learn a lesson or two while at it for your future life endeavors.
12. Be clear about what you would like to do
What would you want to do? Be clear and transparent about that. Remember that your environment contributes to how the ‘yay’ or ‘nay’ the dating may be. If you want to go bowling while you get to know each other, say so. If it should be a movie night, be clear about that. Or perhaps, you would want to have dinner at a good place? Say so.
That way, you would not be bored by being at a place you don't want to be. How would you be able to survive a bad date if you didn't even like the venue in the first place?
13. Don't judge
Lastly, do not judge. Everyone has things that trigger their emotions based on their life experiences. There's a probability that the first meeting can bring out a few of them so rein in your judgmental antennas and reserve judgment for perhaps the second or third date.
If a date went bad, you are bound to experience a few things. For example, there was no chance for you to talk and you only had to do the listening. At some point, you fiddled with your phone to get over the awkward moments.
Also, there is no discussion about a future date. You couldn’t care less because he/she made no impression on you and you can't remember his/her name (and you don't even care). Also, there was a lot of awkward silence and no eye contact, so, you are relieved the date is over.
If it happens to be the first date, do not give up. Perhaps, it was a bad first-day impression. Do some assessment and get to know what the problem is. Allow some time to pass and see if a second date can happen with that person. But if you know for sure you don't want to give that person a second opportunity, don't worry yourself about it, move on.
Yes, you can recover from a bad date. You simply need to assess the situation of the first date and ensure future dates will be more pleasant.
These are signs of a bad date: They either ask too many questions or ask none at all, there is a lot of awkward silence, their sense of humor doesn't align with yours, they have no manners, misunderstandings get into the picture, you both have different targets. Also, you may have felt uncomfortable and, for some reason, you were not able to focus on what they are saying.
It's fine to text. If the date made you uncomfortable, for safety reasons, do not reject him or her in their presence. After the date, wait for a while, then send them a text wishing them luck on future dates.
To end with, bad dates are normal when finding the right match and chemistry. Even though they may be bad, you can make memories of these experiences. With the above ways to survive bad dates, I bet you won't have a problem having a bad date, and you may even enjoy the experience. Who knows, you might even find good friends and help from this experience.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Let me know your thoughts in the comments and please share.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.