Most women find it difficult to ask the guys in their lives for help. If a great guy loves you but you don’t still know how to get him to help you out, you’ll experience frustration. Guys love to feel needed by the women they are dating. A man gets a sense of accomplishment when he can fulfill the desire of his girl.
This means, that if you know your man sees you as a special someone, the easiest thing should be getting him to do what you need help with. So, why do you usually struggle with making him hear what you’re saying rather than getting him to take action?
Why do you think you need to force him to listen to your demands when you can negotiate role-sharing amicably? Most times, the simple reason is that you just don’t realize how much power you have as a woman.
If you know how much influence you can have on your man, you won’t get easily aggravated anymore by his lack of attention. When you discover that guys are simple, you’ll realize he is truly putty in your hands.
Getting to this realization alone might take longer, which is why this article will guide you through asking a man for help in a relationship in 11 simple ways. So, read to the end.
- 1 11 Tips To Get A Man To Help You
- 1.1 1. Ensure you can’t handle that task on your own
- 1.2 2. Nagging won’t get you the help you seek
- 1.3 3. Pay a compliment before asking your partner for help
- 1.4 4. Talking ‘with’ him will get him to act faster
- 1.5 5. Don’t assume he is free to help you at the time
- 1.6 6. Appeal to his hero instincts
- 1.7 7. Increase your PDA skills
- 1.8 8. Ask him nicely
- 1.9 9. Be always willing to help him too
- 1.10 10. Exercise patience with him
- 1.11 11. Be gracious about both his refusals and acceptances
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up
11 Tips To Get A Man To Help You
1. Ensure you can’t handle that task on your own
As a woman, many people, especially men, still see you as the weaker vessel they need to protect. While this stereotype is being gradually reduced, it will take forever to make every husband not view the mother of his children through such a distorted lens. The harsh truth is, that the world doesn’t favor weak women, especially not in this period.
As such, you need to be capable of helping your partner out rather than always waiting for him to help you. For the most part, it’s better to act within reason rather than out of selfishness. If you stay on the path of a demanding partner, you’ll continue to fall out of grace with your husband/partner.
2. Nagging won’t get you the help you seek
Did you know that it is not impossible to get your man interested in doing things for you without nagging him to death? It is news to some women that they can make their men help them without a little bit of nagging. However, it is very possible to ask your husband or boyfriend for help without sounding like a spoiled child.
Most times, it is even better to make your request in a light mood even though it is a serious matter. Also, when you’ve asked him about something once, don’t lead with a whiny tone the next time you remind him about it. No man wants to be manipulated into doing anything, even though he delights in being needed by you.
3. Pay a compliment before asking your partner for help
It is easy to take advantage of a partner you know would do anything for you. You begin to forget to say thank you for the small things he does. For example, you no longer say thank you when he helps you sit in the car after getting the groceries and opening the car door for you.
You only compliment him when he handles big stuff like replacing electric wires and restoring power to the house. Piling ingratitude on new requests will make him feel used, and not needed. As such, make it a habit to be grateful for the littlest things. It is easier for him to help you when he’s high on your gratitude.
4. Talking ‘with’ him will get him to act faster
As partners in a relationship, you can get carried away with how comfortable you’ve become with your husband or boyfriend. The lines between comfortable companionship begin to blur, and you forget that respect breeds the ability to give freely. Instead of talking to your partner, be always conscious to discuss with him.
Don’t talk to him the same way you would to your child or a younger sibling. A man will notice the difference and won’t appreciate the commanding tone. Regardless of the level of your relationship, you can only make a request, not demand him to do things for you just because of love.
5. Don’t assume he is free to help you at the time
It is wrong to assume that your partner is free to jump to your aid at the drop of a hat. Both of you have separate responsibilities that you need to carry out. Even if the result will benefit both of you, it’s still important that you do your part by yourself.
However, if you need his help, you shouldn’t conclude he has to help you. You should respect his time, and understand his schedule and activities. Think about it, if he is always coming to your aid, when will he have time to do his activities? Will you help him do his part of the deal? It is a better idea to ask him if he has the time to help, instead of assuming he does.
6. Appeal to his hero instincts
Remember, guys, love to help as much as possible. As such, you’ll see a man feel more interested in helping a woman in need than just ignoring her. Knowing how to appeal to your man’s hero instincts will make you have him at your beck and call. No, this doesn’t mean he’s your puppet because a real person will also know how to get you to please him.
Bringing out his heroic side is mutually beneficial for both of you. He will fulfill his part as a protector, and you will get your wish for help with the tougher tasks. To get him to support you based on hero instincts, magnify your vulnerability till he thinks helping you is the best solution.
7. Increase your PDA skills
One of the times your PDA and other bonding acts will work is when you need your man to help you. To make this method effective, try to make personal touches and physical closeness common nature in your relationship. If you don’t, he will conclude you want to have sex every time you touch him outside of the bedroom.
Meaning that, if touching his arm or hugging him from behind were only associated with sex, you should let your partner know that’s not always the case. Once you’ve mastered the art of getting his attention through public displays of affection, he will easily take action when you look into his eyes and communicate your needs with your voice.
8. Ask him nicely
Niceties are effective when you have the best intentions. Most times, a man who knows you deeply understands your intentions through the way you talk and what you do. Using a sweet tone to voice your needs gives the impression that you respect your partner.
As long as you don’t try to manipulate him into doing more than he has to, your sweet voice and well-protected emotions will work. Many women think being rude or sounding nasty is a continuous turn-on for every man. However, most men will always prefer niceness to nastiness.
9. Be always willing to help him too
One good turn deserves another, and the same is true in relationships. You cannot expect your man to always give without receiving from you. If you want him to help you, no questions asked, you should be available to him in the same manner. One way to get your man to do things for you without stress is to speak his love language.
He is speaking your love language by helping you with different things. You should also understand and express your love for him based on his love language. That way, he will hardly say no to you because he knows you’ll reciprocate appropriately.
10. Exercise patience with him
As a woman, you can easily get impatient when it appears like your man isn’t listening to you. Becoming impatient and lashing out at him still won’t get you what you want. Even if he attends to you in your impatient mood, he might not do your wish properly. Then, you end up complaining even worse than you did before he answered you.
As such, it might take a while for your man to let you know if he can help or not. Patiently wait for an answer instead of pestering him into submission. Men are logical beings who like to take their time before doing something. They usually jump into action once they’re sure the outcome will be favorable.
11. Be gracious about both his refusals and acceptances
The hallmark of a true lady is her ability to accept both defeat and success graciously. You may break down or tell in secret sometimes, but don’t always lose your cool with your partner for not accepting to help you.
If he can he would help you, but always walk away with grace regardless of which response he gives you.
Yes, guys like it when a girl asks them for help, especially if she’s someone they like.
If you’ve known him for a while, just ask him nicely if it’s something he can do. Another way is to present the situation in a way that he’ll think helping you has benefits for him too.
It’s not as much as what you say, it is what you do. If he needs encouragement in a difficult time, offer encouraging words, but also back them up by showing up for him.
Start a conversation on a neutral basis, then work your way to the subject of how he feels about you through a series of questions.
Men don’t naturally like to be chased because they are natural hunters themselves. However, some men don’t fear a change in character sometimes. It makes them feel powerful that a woman thinks they’re worth the chase.
To Sum Up
Getting your man to help you with things should be the easiest thing because he treasures you. However, your insecurity and impatience can get in the way of getting your wishes. By following the tips in this post, you’ll have less aggravating moments and more success with getting your partner to feel loved enough to help you.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.