Apology Letter To Mother In Law (7 Writing Tips)

It’s sad that many ladies grow up with the opinion that all mothers-in-law are bad. Even before marriage, this preconceived idea of being in constant enmity with your partner’s mother surfaces. If you can relate to this, you’re not the only one. 

Research shows that out of hundreds of families, about two-thirds of ladies admit that there has been some tension/friction in their marriage because of their husband's mother. In addition to that, mothers-in-law have also complained about strained relationships because of their son’s wives. 

It’s really an unhealthy cycle that many women get caught in. Thanks to this preconceived notion, it’s fairly easy to offend each other, even when the other party meant no harm. Have you crossed the line recently? Did you say mean words he clearly did not deserve? Do you need her to forgive you so your relationship with her son doesn’t crumble? 

Then writing an apology letter may be your best chance at apologizing for your mistake and receiving forgiveness. Writing one doesn’t have to be so complicated when you have the right tips. Just remember you are writing this to your family. So take the tips that best pertain to your situation, and personalize them. 

7 Tips To Consider When Writing Apology Letter To Mother In Law

1. Start by addressing the letter intimately 

When you’re apologizing for being rude, acting disrespectfully, or even being abusive/violent, the letter has to be intimate. That’s because, sometimes, when a daughter-in-law crosses the line, mothers tend to stop seeing them as family. They will just address you as their son’s wife and nothing else. While this may not sound bad to many, it is if you want to maintain peace. 

That’s why it’s best to address her as intimately as possible. Rather than saying, dear Mrs. so and so, call her mom. It may seem strange calling another woman your mom. However, as long as you are married to your spouse, his mother has become yours as well. So start out with ‘dear mom’. That will re-establish the fact that you see her as your family, and mom as well.

2. State your faults

After addressing the letter with ‘dear mom’, that cushioning effect has already been established. The next step will now be to talk about what you did. Apology letters can either be straight-to-the-point or detailed. In this case, the apology letter has to be detailed. Even though you both know what happened, it’s important to re-state the facts. 

Write down what you did wrong explicitly so she knows that you’re aware of what went wrong. Try and make it personal. For example;

’Apology letter to my mother’

‘Dear mom, I hope you are doing well, everything over here is great. However, I have something pressing I need to talk to you about. But let me start by saying I am sorry. I know how disrespectful and unthoughtful I have been acting. I lied, made mean jokes, insulted you, ignored you, and worst of all, pushed you away.’’

By captioning it ‘apology letter to my mother’, you are re-establishing the close maternal relationships you both should share. However, the key in this step is to highlight the wrong in how you acted.

3. Acknowledge her strengths and efforts

acknowledge her strengths and efforts

After stating your faults, it’s time to butter her up a little bit. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and now is the time to show her that. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t do much, appreciate the little things. You can mention how sweet she was when you first met. How accommodating she is, or how willing she is to ensure you and her son live the best life. 

If you want, sugar-coat her efforts a little bit. The truth is, when we exaggerate people’s efforts, they’ll either get irritated by it or try to live up to those expectations. So this apology letter may end up working to your advantage if your mom-in-law has been a bit salty as well.

4. Mention how much you cherish and appreciate her

After acknowledging her strengths and efforts towards you and your spouse, it’s time to butter things up more. You aren’t doing this to look like a boot-licker. However, it’s important to understand that people are generally sensitive, especially moms. If you really acted unfairly, she needs to know how much you care for and appreciate her. 

So mention that in the letter. Tell her that you honestly respect her and cherish her no matter what. If you aren’t that close, don’t overdo it, just keep that part simple and short.

5. Apologize sincerely

At this point, it’s important to restate how sorry you are for your actions. Take responsibility for anything you said or did wrong, and do so genuinely. Your apology has to sound remorseful so that she will believe that it’s sincere. Admit that you failed to see her as a mom in the past, and are now ready to do what it takes to be better

After apologizing, it’s also important to ask for forgiveness. Start with a direct question like, “please can you forgive me?

6. Make a promise to put more effort into respecting her

make a promise to put more effort into respecting her

Once you have apologized and asked to be forgiven, it’s time to make some genuine promises. Do you want your relationship to be better? Let her know. Tell her that you want to make things right, and hope things can be fixed between you too. However, if you are not that close, just promise not to cross set boundaries again. 

For example, you can promise to give her the respect, love, and support she deserves. Simply saying this should make her happy. Any mom-in-law who isn’t spiteful or bitter should agree to such terms, and also put in the effort to make things work.

7. Ask to meet her in person

Writing an apology letter may be the best first step when seeking leniency. However, it may be important to take the next leap of faith and ask to meet in person. Set a date that’s convenient for both of you, and ask if she’s open to dialogue. Talking and maybe even hugging it out will solidify your apology.

So, if you both live in the same state or city, choose a day when both of you can meet in private. On the other hand, if you fear any backlash, pick a date that clashes with a family function. She may not want to misbehave in front of her loved ones.


How do I apologize to my mother-in-law?

When you hurt your mother-in-law, you’re also hurting her son. That’s why it’s important to tender a sincere apology without sounding forced, fake, or compelled. The next step is to clearly mention what you did wrong in the letter. 

Acknowledge your wrong-doing and accept that you hurt her. The next step is to ask for forgiveness, it’s better to use clear words and ask a straightforward yet sincere question. A simple, “please can you find it in your heart to forgive me? Will do. 

How do you write an apology letter to your mother-in-law?

Writing an open letter to your mother-in-law must be done with precision. She is your ‘mom’ after all, so give her the respect she deserves. Start by acknowledging what you did wrong, and then mention how sorry you are. 

After that, it’s best to include how you intend to fix things, and also respect her from then on, and in the future. Ensure you express regret sincerely, and ask her nicely to accept your apology. 

How do you forgive a toxic mother-in-law?

It can be hard to come to terms with the love you have for your partner, and the cruelty your mother-in-law has dealt you. However, it’s important to recognize that you're still related. She’ll remain a part of your life for as long as she lives. Don’t just see her as your husband’s mother but yours as well. Plus, she’s human. 

Try to let go of the past and focus on the future. If your husband is still loving and supportive, then focus on that too. However, it’s important to take note of the things that trigger her, and maybe even avoid too much face-time with her so you don’t constantly get aggravated or bitter.

How do you apologize to someone you hurt deeply?

First of all, it’s important to put away your pride. Then schedule a meeting with them to apologize sincerely in person. If you can, think about a meaningful gift and have it sent to their home or office. When asking for forgiveness, take responsibility for your mistakes. That way, it’s not just about the apology the person will hear. But also your actions show how sorry you are. 

What do you do if your in-laws don't like you?

The truth is, there’s little you can do to change the minds of your in-laws. However, if you stoop down a level and start being mean or giving them an attitude, that will only make things worse. Just ensure that you keep loving and bonding with your husband. 

Also, try to keep your relationship with his parents and siblings cordial. Be nice, but create healthy boundaries that will avoid conflict or misunderstandings in the future. Most importantly, take care of yourself. And don’t let their dislike for you change who you are. 

To Summarize

Writing an open letter of apology to your mother-in-law may seem tedious and daunting. Still, remember that she is a human, and your husband once used to be her baby boy. 

Remember, this lady may be around for a long time, and you want your relationship with her to be at least cordial. So when you’re penning down that apology, ensure everything you write is sincere. If she’s reasonable, she’ll certainly accept your apology. 

Did you enjoy reading through this list? Then please leave a comment, question, or even a suggestion in the section below. Also, don’t forget to share this with others. Good luck. 

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