Am I The Toxic One In The Relationship? (15 Ways To Know For Sure)

Are you asking the question – Am I the toxic one in the relationship? Do you wonder if your behavior is healthy and/or if you need to make a serious change in your life? Are you sure you are in a toxic relationship? If you are in a toxic relationship, you may wonder if the cause of the toxicity is your fault. Today, we will solve the mystery of that question!

Often, when you are in toxic relationships, you are blind to the signs that you are in one. You may feel like everything is normal and fine. If you are the cause of a toxic relationship in your life, the problem could be that you think things are normal when they are not. Watch for the signs that you are the one causing the issues in your relationship. This is a good first step!

Next, you’ll want to determine which behavior or action of yours is causing the toxic relationship. That’s what we’ll identify in this article. We’ll look at all the signs that you are the cause of a toxic relationship. Finally, you can look at each sign and determine what you need to change!

How To Know If You Are The Toxic One In The Relationship

1. You think you are better than your partner

If you have a superiority complex, you may be a toxic person. Do you feel like you are better than your partner? Do you constantly make fun of them or call them names because you think they are stupid? If you think you are smarter, faster, and better than your partner, it may be time to admit you are a bit toxic.

If you believe you could do better, maybe you should be in a different relationship. Really evaluate the good and bad in your partner, and stop thinking that you are better than them. Instead, look at the reasons you are with them instead of the ways that you are a superior person. Focus on the good or move on to someone more like you.

2. You threaten to end the relationship all the time

When people make threats all the time, they are usually doing this because they want to get their way, not because of love. Acting as if you will leave your partner is a way to control your relationship, and it is very unhealthy. If you do this a lot even though you don’t mean it, you could be the toxic person in your relationship. 

You might even do this with friends, too. If you tell them that they need to do something or you will end those relationships, you are being manipulative and trying to control everything. This may be why you don’t have a lot of relationships in your life; people don’t like threats being made toward them! It’s an unfair way to act!

Try to be more accepting and stop threatening to end your relationship. Work toward being more positive and focus on the future rather than on the reasons you should end things. This should go a long way toward making your relationship less toxic and more solid. Consider how you would want to be treated, and behave that way.

3. You crave and create lots of drama in your relationship

A dramatic person loves having drama in their life – even if they won’t admit that. They love conflict and get upset very easily. They do this because getting upset means there is something dramatic about to happen. For example, if you say something a little thoughtless, they may start a big argument about that, even if it was a very small thing.

Maybe you indicated that what they said was not the nicest thing in the world. A dramatic person will blow things out of proportion and say that you are calling them the worst person in the world because you said that. Of course, that is ridiculous behavior because you didn’t say that at all. Nevertheless, that’s how a dramatic person acts. 

They feel like everything is important and drastic. They take things to the extreme when dealing with a relationship. Drama addicts often feel like everything is one way or another. There is no middle ground with them. They tend to be very insecure, and their actions show that they feel as if everything is always their fault all the time!

Their sensitivity would be shown when they burst into tears easily and act like you have hurt their feelings even if you said something completely innocent. They crave the ups and downs in life and want everything to be exciting and dramatic! That’s really an unhealthy way to be in life; you shouldn’t act this way or feel like this about everything! 

If you act this way, work on it! Try to be less dramatic and happier!

4. You don’t fix problems in your relationship

If you are a drama person, as mentioned in the last point, you probably don’t want to fix any problems that occur in your relationship because then you wouldn’t have anything to argue over. Do you love to have things on unsteady ground in your relationship? Do you feel like things are better when you aren’t getting along? You may be toxic!

Consider giving a little more effort into your relationship and show that you want to be there rather than not fixing the things that are going wrong.

5. You are a negative person

People who fit the bill for being dramatic are often also very negative people. Did you know that research shows that people use negative stimuli more than positive to assist them with their first impressions of other people, to learn new things, or to just make sense of what they experience in life? That’s crazy, right?

Focus more on the positive things in life and forget about all the negative. If you dwell on the negative, you are only going to see things that way. Try putting a positive spin on bad things, and view them as learning opportunities rather than negative experiences.

6. You have trouble making decisions

you have trouble making decisions

Indecisive people are often high-maintenance. If you have trouble making up your mind, you may have some toxic attitudes going on inside of you. Try working toward making decisions instead of being wishy-washy about everything.

7. You don’t have healthy relationships in your life

As mentioned, you may have other unhealthy relationships in your life if you are a toxic person, because you don’t know how to behave in a healthy way. Other people don’t want to be friends with you because of the way you act. They’d rather find an individual with normal boundaries and constraints than be with someone who is toxic.

If you just now realize that you do not have good relationships in your life, you should reevaluate your actions and decisions. Consider what you are doing right and wrong in the relationships in your life.

8. You get upset easily

This falls under the same category as being dramatic. Do you get upset over any little thing? This is a strong indicator that you may be having trouble with your feelings. Maybe you are a little too sensitive about matters and should chill out a bit more. Other people don’t enjoy being in relationships with those who get mad easily.

Try counting to 10 before getting upset over something. Learn how to be more relaxed and at ease about things rather than being a hotheaded individual.

9. You tend to want everything to go your way

It’s hard not to want everything to go your way; it’s easy to want things to go according to a plan, but unfortunately, life comes and goes – the unexpected happens when you least want it to. People pass on from this life to the next, breakups happen, and people make decisions you wish they hadn’t made. Things just can’t always go according to plan!

Realize that the unexpected will occur and be more positive and flexible about everything in your life.

10. You manipulate your partner

Are you always trying to “con” your partner? Do you have hidden agendas? Maybe when you talk to your partner, you really have ulterior motives in your mind and don’t mean what you say. 

This is all part of being manipulative. If you behave and feel this way, you should work on the way you are. Consider reading a good self-help book or watching a video.

11. You have trouble with healthy communication

If you get upset easily or just avoid talking about certain subjects, you may have trouble with healthy communication. That’s not very good for a romantic relationship. It’s better to discuss your problems rather than avoid them or try not to discuss what’s going on inside your head. Let your partner know what you are thinking! Be honest!

12. You never take the blame in fights

you never take the blame in fights

If there is no conflict that is ever your fault, you may be toxic. In a relationship, there are always two sides, and it’s a good idea to recognize when you are in the wrong. Make sure you tell your partner what you are thinking and give them a chance to hear your apology when you are in the wrong. Be more of a humble person!

13. You are a compulsive liar

Do you have a problem with telling the truth? If this is a problem area for you, you may want to speak with a mental health professional. They can often help you determine why you are lying so much and nip this issue before it causes your relationship to end for good. Start telling the truth and be honest with your partner about how you feel.

14. You tend to embarrass your partner

If you have a superiority complex, as mentioned above, you may often embarrass your partner because you think you are better than they are. Don’t act like you are better than someone else. We each have our positives and negatives – our pros and cons. Recognize the good in your partner and focus on that instead of the negative.

15. You do not support your partner

Support is needed in a relationship! You must stand by your partner’s side through the thick and thin, the good and the bad. If you don’t, they won’t want to support you either! Try putting the other person in front of you for a change. Be more of a humble person and show kindness and support rather than judgment and persecution!

What To Do If You Are The One In Your Relationship That Is Toxic

If you have read the signs and are now determined that you are the toxic person in your relationship, you have taken an excellent first step! You are admitting you have things you could work on; that’s a positive thing! It shows that you are willing to make changes in your life to improve your relationships. You can change the way you talk and act – your behavior.

So, how do you improve your behavior? The first thing you may want to do is end your relationship. Explain to your partner that you are concerned that you have some emotional things to work through and need a break from relationships for a while. Talk it out, and he or she may agree with you that it is best for you to put the brakes on things for a while.

Next, it’s a smart idea to talk to a therapist or counselor. You can discuss your thoughts and feelings and explain how you think you have toxic behaviors. A mental health professional can help you sort through your toxic behaviors to help you identify where you can change. Finally, they can help you make the changes you need to so that you can be in a healthy relationship!


How do you know if you're the toxic one in a relationship?

If you have a superiority complex or think your partner is the one to blame for all the issues in your relationship, you may be in a toxic relationship that is your fault. Think about the biggest problem in your relationship and determine what your part is with that problem.

What are the 5 signs of an unhealthy relationship?

If there is abuse, control issues, emotional drama, emotionally immature people in the relationship, or if you fight all the time, you may be in a toxic relationship. Really, if something doesn’t feel right in your relationship, there is something that needs to change before it becomes healthy.

What do I do if I'm the toxic one?

If you are abusive to your partner in any way, you need to stop the abusive behavior and seek help. Talking to a counselor about your problems can go a long way toward making you a more healthy human being; it can benefit you emotionally and save your abusive relationship.

What's a toxic boyfriend?

A toxic boyfriend is someone who does not have healthy behavior in a relationship. Toxic relationships often have two people who are not emotionally mature, even if only one person causes the problem. The other person should not want to stay with an unhealthy partner! It’s best to get counseling!

Do I love him, or am I attached?

Love is full of kindness, patience, understanding, and respect. If you are lacking in those areas, love is probably not taking place in your heart. Take the time to ponder upon how you are treating your partner; that is the first step toward having a healthy relationship.

The Bottomline

Have you determined if you are the toxic person in the relationships you have in your life? Do you have a need for control all the time or feel like you must always get your way? What are your thoughts on a toxic person? Share in the comments below!

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