There’s a misconception that men mostly experience rejection when it comes to dating. While it is true that men are more involved in actively asking women out on dates, it is not the case that they are the ones who explicitly show they are attracted to the opposite sex.
Women also seek out the men they like and ask them out. However, awkwardness sets in when the guy in question is a good or ‘best friend.’
This then begs the question — have you ever liked a guy so much that you wished he would stop seeing you as ‘just a friend’? Or have you been friend-zoned for telling a guy that you want to start a romantic relationship with him?
Perhaps, you’re even confused by the mixed signals he is displaying and you want to be sure he has the slightest interest in you as a potential lover would? If so, this article and the pointers will help you figure out where you stand in such a situation.
- 1 21 Signs To Know You Are Friendzoned
- 1.1 1. Apparently, You’re The Only Feeling The Sexual Zing
- 1.2 2. He Unloads His Problems On You As A Brother Would
- 1.3 3. He Feels No Shame In Undressing Or Dressing In Front Of You
- 1.4 4. You Have A Pet Name Like Pumpkin But Certainly Not Because You’re His
- 1.5 5. You’re His Sound-Board When It Comes To Getting Advice
- 1.6 6. He Asks You To ‘Woo’ Ladies On His Behalf
- 1.7 7. You Help Him Plan His Breakup Strategies
- 1.8 8. He Is Just Too Relaxed Around You
- 1.9 9. He Is Always Trying To Play Matchmaker
- 1.10 10. His Family Knows You But Only As His ‘Buddy’
- 1.11 11. Everyone Else Sees How Much You Like Him Except Him
- 1.12 12. You Show Up For Him More Than He Does For You
- 1.13 13. He Could Get Drunk With You And Still Not Make A Move
- 1.14 14. He Only Touches You When He Jokingly Ruffles Your Hair Or Punches Your Shoulder
- 1.15 15. He Invites Other Friends Along To Your Hangouts
- 1.16 16. He Compliments You Only In The Way A Friend Would
- 1.17 17. You Can’t Set Him Up For A Romantic Date; He’d Always Turn It Into A Casual One
- 1.18 18. He Jokes With You Too Much To Take You Seriously
- 1.19 19. Although He Seems To Care For You, There’s Always Something Or Someone Else More Important
- 1.20 20. He Treats You Like One Of The Guys
- 1.21 21. He Doesn’t Act Jealous When You’re With Other Guys
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
21 Signs To Know You Are Friendzoned
1. Apparently, You’re The Only Feeling The Sexual Zing
When two people have a sexual connection, people say the air surrounding them is charged and there is a chemistry that’s so palpable you can touch it. If you’re the only one feeling this special connection, then you might be friendzoned.
When a person likes you romantically, you’ll see the way he reacts when your hands touch or there’s any other physical contact. If he acts normal and unperturbed, girl, it’s better to set your eyes elsewhere.
2. He Unloads His Problems On You As A Brother Would
It is normal to discuss issues with a friend but, if that’s all your crush does with you, he probably sees you as a friend or worse, as a sister. If you don’t come out and tell this guy you like him, you might as well accept you’ve been friendzoned. It may be time to let him know that although you’re willing to be the shoulder he leans on, you also want more than being his psychologist.
3. He Feels No Shame In Undressing Or Dressing In Front Of You
A guy who likes you will give you sexually-charged glances even if he’s merely stripping down to his underwear. If he doesn’t even glance your way, he’s either playing a tease game or simply too comfortable around you.
4. You Have A Pet Name Like Pumpkin But Certainly Not Because You’re His
Pumpkin or an equally sweet pet name is something you call your lover. As such, it can leave you in an unsure state when your crush calls you that, even though he’s never given you signs that you mean more than a friend to him. Guys who already have a ‘cute’ pet-name for you may have friendzoned you even before they thought of the name.
5. You’re His Sound-Board When It Comes To Getting Advice
As his go-to person for good advice, you’d have grown so used to him that you can’t imagine him not liking you in return. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case because you could be his sound-board without him wanting more than that. He could just be using you and will eventually leave you in the friend zone.
6. He Asks You To ‘Woo’ Ladies On His Behalf
At the beginning of your friendship with him, it would be okay for him to ask for your opinions about who to date. But, it would no longer be cool to do so when the tempo between you two changes. If he cannot recognize that you’re sad about him bringing you his lady troubles, he is friendzoning you to the curb.
7. You Help Him Plan His Breakup Strategies
If you were to be ‘one of the guys,’ that would be cool. However, you can’t be friendzoned and be his special lady at the same time. If you continue to be deeply involved with his breakup and makeup stories, you’ll be in the friend zone for a long time yet.
8. He Is Just Too Relaxed Around You
Now, if there’s any way to test if a guy is sexually attracted to you, it is by having sleepovers with him. Being enclosed in the same space and on the same bed with a guy will reveal his feelings towards you, even if he is a gentleman.
You may want to throw in body language advances, but don’t overdo it to avoid destroying your friendship. If he’s sleeping 5 minutes after you guys chat and you’re the person wondering if you should lean in and kiss him, you’re in the friend zone.
9. He Is Always Trying To Play Matchmaker
There’s nothing more humiliating and single-handedly annoying than when a guy you like is trying to get you to date another person. It’s like ‘Bro! Can’t you see it’s you I like?” You can’t ignore signs like these, if he’s trying to ship you off to someone else despite all your efforts to let him know you want to be his girl, the friend zone alert has never sounded so loud.
10. His Family Knows You But Only As His ‘Buddy’
One of the signs of a good relationship is that his friends and family know you, right? What if they only know you as his ‘buddy.’ They know you guys are close, but they can read the signs on the wall. They probably already know the person he has the hots for, and if it’s not you, they won’t leave any hints.
11. Everyone Else Sees How Much You Like Him Except Him
It can be embarrassing when everyone else can see your attraction to a guy, but your crush doesn’t see the signs even if it hit him in the face. Even when people approach him with the fact, he would say something like “no, that’s crazy she’s my home-girl but we’re not cool like that” to throw them off. Girl, you’re permanently on the friend zone bench at this point.
12. You Show Up For Him More Than He Does For You
When you’re the only one showing up for a guy it means he can easily replace you without any remorse. You’re the person always trying to support and be there for him, but he doesn’t return the favor. At this point, you should know you’ve been friendzoned, especially when he does the same for another girl that’s not you.
13. He Could Get Drunk With You And Still Not Make A Move
Signs like these are painful because we all know the excuse people make for ‘misbehaving’ is that they had too much alcohol. If both of you hang out alone, get drunk, but he still doesn’t make a move on you, he has probably friendzoned you girl.
14. He Only Touches You When He Jokingly Ruffles Your Hair Or Punches Your Shoulder
Physical contact is essential for discerning whether someone has romantic feelings for you or not. If his body language indicates he's only with you as a friend, you’re definitely in the friend zone. If the only time he touches you is to ruffle your hair or even shove you playfully, he isn’t thinking about tumbling you into bed someday.
15. He Invites Other Friends Along To Your Hangouts
This is one annoying act that leaves you either confused or certain about your position in your crush's life. If he consistently thwarts your attempt to get close to him by inviting other people to hangouts that are supposed to be for the two of you, you may want to maintain your ‘friend’ status with him and forget about becoming more.
16. He Compliments You Only In The Way A Friend Would
A friendship that would develop into more will undergo a series of developments such as a change in endearment and the compliments both parties exchange. If your crush continues to call you ‘lovely’ or ‘buddy’ when you should have become a ‘darling’ or ‘beautiful,’ he has probably friendzoned you.
17. You Can’t Set Him Up For A Romantic Date; He’d Always Turn It Into A Casual One
Once or twice, when you try to plan a cozy date with him, he ends up making it look like a casual hangout with an ordinary friend. Obviously, he knows what you’re trying to do, but he remains a happy lad rather than the sexy and romantic person you’re trying to bring out. If this is the case, he has put you in the friend zone.
18. He Jokes With You Too Much To Take You Seriously
One way to a girl’s heart is to make her laugh a lot. However, when all a guy does is make you laugh but not raise your body hair in sexual excitement, you know he’s only trying to be a friend, nothing more. While this isn’t a bad thing, it could also mean you’ve been friendzoned.
19. Although He Seems To Care For You, There’s Always Something Or Someone Else More Important
It is glaringly evident that you care so much for him, and he probably reveals the same but, you’re not exactly the center of his world. He is more invested in other people and projects to see you as the girl he truly needs by his side.
20. He Treats You Like One Of The Guys
There comes a time in even friend zone situations that friends of opposite sexes will wonder if there’s more than friendship between you and this guy. I mean, the first thing people think when they see a guy and girl together is that they are dating. So how do you know you’re in the friend zone?
Do you get fist bumps instead of hugs, get shoulder punches, and hi-fives? Yeah, I don’t know many romances that started out like that. Plus, if he calls you ‘dude’ ‘guy’ or ‘bro’ he has friendzoned you already.
21. He Doesn’t Act Jealous When You’re With Other Guys
You could be French-kissing in front of this guy and he’d cheer you on. If that’s the case, then you’ve been friendzoned. He probably sees you as his good friend and is happy that you’re getting some. He won’t mind doing the same in front of you as well, because you’re just friends, right?
So many signs will make you ask, “am I in the friend zone?”. One of them is if the friend you have a crush on seems to be taking advantage of you without wanting a romantic relationship. He will avoid you most of the time, even when he’s not as busy as he claims.
If you have in one way or another shared your feelings with a guy and he suddenly starts to avoid you, you have been friend-zoned. If he says things like “when you come across the guy who loves you, you’ll know” you’re definitely in the friend zone.
A guy who doesn’t feel any sort of sexual attraction for you will put you in the friend zone. A guy who wants to remain friends with you despite knowing you’re attracted to him will put you in the friend zone as well.
It is not bad to be in the friend zone if you have come to terms with the fact that you can’t get what you want from the guy. If you can’t keep your friendship with him because you want more, you may not be okay with staying in the friend zone.
You can break free from the friend zone by communicating your feelings with your guy friend. You can break off the friendship if it is not working out for you or you can mentally move yourself to a ‘friends only’ relationship if you want to maintain your friendship with him.
It’s normal for a friendship to evolve into something more, but it’s not a good feeling to be friend-zoned by a friend you want more from. If you follow the tips in this article, you’ll find it easy to spot ‘friend-zone’ situations and avoid them when necessary. If you enjoyed reading this article, leave a comment below, and share it with friends in a similar situation.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.