How do you know you are being ghosted by a guy? Well, that’s a tricky one to answer. If you’ve already texted him, once, twice..going on three times, the chances of him responding are very slim. Truthfully, he is likely not going to respond, sweetheart. But you can go ahead and triple text if you want to.
However, before you bombard him with any more messages, let’s first face reality; technology has offered a lot of excitement and convenience to many of us. We get to Snapchat, text, DM, and keep in touch with our loved ones without having to meet them face-to-face.
However, when it comes to dating, and forming new relationships, being alive in this age of instant replies and communication has its ups and downs.
In this article, I will dig deeper into ‘ghosting’, a cruel behavior in the dating scene; when someone ends a relationship without closure. If you suspect you are dealing with a potential candidate, you are likely feeling hurt, especially if you never saw it coming. Worry not because the below tips will help you ascertain if he deserves any more of your attention.
- 1 How Do You Know You Are Being Ghosted?
- 1.1 1. Giving excuses… and more excuses
- 1.2 2. He’s still posting on social media
- 1.3 3. Uninterested nature of their responses
- 1.4 4. You’re always the conversation starter
- 1.5 5. What was routine is now no more
- 1.6 6. You always make excuses for him
- 1.7 7. This isn’t the first time
- 1.8 8. You both went far too fast
- 1.9 9. Are they watching or ignoring you?
- 1.10 10. Extra tip: The Snapchat Score
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude…
How Do You Know You Are Being Ghosted?
1. Giving excuses… and more excuses
So, you met a guy and he has been acting shady lately. He probably gives an endless amount of excuses to be far away from you. Today, he is going to the movies with friends, and tomorrow he's going to be busy at work. Take in a deep breath, place the detective cap down for a second, and assess the situation neutrally before jumping to conclusions that he is ghosting you.
Think beyond the moments where you shared flirty pillow talk and sunset kisses, and focus on what they said to you between those moments. It could be possible that he mentioned the movie to you within the week and might've hinted at things being hectic at work. If after your assessment tells you otherwise, accept in good faith that you're being ignored.
Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook. These are varying social media platforms we all use almost daily. This point can be very tricky, but it works great. Even though some of us can overlook your messages, or lose it in a sea of other messages, some others will outright ignore your message intentionally.
If this ghost is still active on other social media platforms in real-time, it is highly probable you're not the one he wants to communicate with at the moment. So, tread cautiously with this method, since it's possible he just hasn't found the perfect flirty response for your text yet.
3. Uninterested nature of their responses
You’ve sent double messages; triple even! It’s been almost twelve hours, and there hasn't been any response. You're losing your cool, and just as you're about to give up, your phone vibrates! The buzz of your phone, after a couple of agonizing hours without a reply, comes as a breath of fresh air, but there's another significant step; decoding the text.
Is he giving you updates on what's going on? Is he apologizing? And does he indeed want to see you again? If his messages answer yes to any of these, chances are you're safe and not about to be zoned.
4. You’re always the conversation starter
Sometimes, when you meet someone, it’s normal to spend hours on the phone all day, every day. It can get so intense that after leaving your phone for just two minutes, you come back to discover over fifty unread messages. Back then, it was cute, new and exhilarating for you. Until suddenly, everything changed.
Now the tables have turned, and you're at the other side, always sending texts and calling him first. He doesn't find this as exciting as you'd imagined, nor does he find them as endearing as you saw his. Something tells you to reduce the effort, to stop trying altogether because he's losing interest.
5. What was routine is now no more
One thing that tips many off to know they are being ignored is when there's an absence of one or either typical ‘goodnight' or ‘good morning' texts. Indeed, this may not mean anything or pose any potential danger, especially if he doesn't end up texting you to find out about how your day's gone so far during lunch.
It is also possible that the routine you guys shared is being broken because the interest has also dwindled. The breaking of such a routine can be painful, but it's better to identify it before it gets worse, to save yourself the heartache.
6. You always make excuses for him
Between both of you, everyone is making excuses. One is making excuses to get away from the other, while one is making excuses for the first person. You know which one you are, honey, don't scroll past this point.
For every excuse he gives you, you come up with a thousand more vehemently defending him to others and yourself. All the excuses you create to tell your friends and family are all in an attempt to avoid the simple fact that he's not that into you anymore and that you're being ignored.
7. This isn’t the first time
Yes, yes, he's done that to you before. The chances are high that he's going to do it again and again. The truth hurts, but it needs to be told and accepted. If he didn't tell you things were coming to an end between the both of you the first time, there's no way he's going to do It now. Once a ghoster, always a ghoster.
8. You both went far too fast
Everything between the two of you moved extremely fast! From the very start, the two of you were hot and heavy for each other. Your first date felt like the reception to your wedding ceremony where you spoke for hours on end, admitting that indeed what you were feeling was different from all others.
It is possible that during this honeymoon stage, there were many red flags you willingly ignored because of your heightened emotions. You never regretted going all out for this guy until his attitude changed suddenly. The thing with relationships that start fast is that they also tend to end just as quickly.
9. Are they watching or ignoring you?
You've texted or called, and there’s no other way to get through to him. Yet, he doesn’t reply as quickly as you expect; so you take to social media, posting how sweet and sassy you're looking at your favorite coffee shop.
You do this intentionally, refreshing your page every second to see if they've sent you a direct message. If he doesn’t slide into your DMs after seeing such a stunning photograph of you, it’s very likely this one is losing interest.
10. Extra tip: The Snapchat Score
Visit your crush's Snapchat profile and make a mental note of the number of snaps they send and receive. Give it ten to fifteen minutes and check again, and if the numbers have increased, it's highly likely that you're being placed on the back burner.
Are you uncertain if someone has pulled a disappearing act on you? To be sure, here are some signs to look out for:
He keeps all personal details very personal.
He compliments you way too much.
He responds to your messages with one-word texts.
He bails out regularly on your dates, using friends as an excuse.
He’s done it before.
There’s no fixed amount of time or rule stating the number of days it should take someone to reply to your messages. This is because every relationship is very different. For many people who value their time, a maximum of three days is considered a decent time to know. Take into consideration, however, that, life emergencies do happen, and these can cause people to be unresponsive.
Someone displaying ghosting behavior towards you doesn't mean you're not worthy of affection for a relationship. It shouldn't affect you negatively; thus, once you do realize you've been ghosted, you must honor your feelings, accept the situation as it is and remain as calm as you possibly can. Also, avoid ranting on social media after the incident and, instead, celebrate yourself for being the amazing person you are.
The trick to avoiding ghosting is to be interesting to others as possible. Being boring is very easy, especially if you're someone who's prone to a lot of pre-talk. Avoid plenty of chatter and start your date with drinks or coffee or whatever you choose. The conversations that flow will teach you more about the other person and offer you an idea as to whether you feel any attraction towards them. Doing this in real life is essential since some things can't be deciphered on the phone.
Breadcrumbing is a slang referring to the sending of non-committal text messages, also known as breadcrumbs, to lure a sexual partner without much effort. It's the most recent version of leading someone on, without expecting much from them. With breadcrumbing, you send sporadic messages, frequently enough such that the other person doesn't lose interest. At the same time, the messages are sent in a manner that prevents the relationship from moving forward.
There are a lot of heartbroken individuals with equally heart-breaking stories about men disappearing on women every single week. Though these stories are sad and painful, they all share common traits that people who haven't experienced ghosting by someone else might learn from, to help save them the heartbreak.
If this article helped you or offered you relatable information, don't hesitate to share it with someone else who is going through the same.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.