Are you tired of constant fights with your partner? Do you want to see some changes in their behavior? Do they want you to take accountability for the things that you do?
If yes, then you have come to the right place. The ability to take accountability for what you have done is a very important quality in a person and has a huge role to play in relationships.
For a long time, I avoided taking accountability for my mistakes and kept blaming my husband for everything wrong in my marriage. I eventually learned that it was my nature of making excuses and keeping high expectations from my husband that had harmed our relationship in more than one way.
In today’s article, we are going to understand what is accountability, its definition and why it is important in a relationship. We will also look at tips, which can help you take accountability in a relationship. These tips will help you love yourself and not depend on others for your happiness. All this will help you have a loving relationship with your partner.
- 1 Why Is It important To Take Accountability In Relationships?
- 2 What Does It Feel Like To Be Accountable?
- 3 Tips To Take Accountability in Relationships
- 4 FAQs
- 5 In Conclusion
Why Is It important To Take Accountability In Relationships?
Taking accountability in your relationship means acknowledging and taking ownership of things that you do and the mistakes you make.
To have a healthy relationship, it is important that the parties involved take accountability for the words and the things that they do. Doing so creates trust and dependability in the relationship. It allows your partner to be completely honest and vulnerable in front of you. They will become more open, and real in front of you, which will increase communication in your relationship.
Moreover, the willingness to accept your imperfections and mistakes helps you to grow. It enhances and improves your self-esteem and allows you to be largely independent rather than being dependent on your partner for encouragement and self-worth. Also, you learn to love yourself and don’t keep expectations from your partner.
You become comfortable with the idea that it is not the job of your partner to make you happy and you are capable of finding your happiness within yourself. Also by taking accountability in your relationship, you will become the leader between you two. Your partner will look up to you and it will be helpful not only in your personal growth but also in the growth of your relationship.
Also, by becoming a responsible partner, you will become compassionate and you will learn empathy. You will try to understand the perspective of your partner and learn to forgive their mistakes. All in all, taking accountability will not only help your relationship but will also help you grow on an individual level.
What Does It Feel Like To Be Accountable?
To have a healthy relationship, it is important that both the partners involved take accountability.
Taking accountability is like self care, which will not only help your relationship but will also be helpful for both partners. Taking accountability will release both the partners from the over looming stress and they will become happier, which will help the relationship.
Being responsible in a relationship also means that you just have to take care of your accountability and you are not responsible for the feelings of your partner. This means there is no need for you to gratify, excel for, reconcile for, or control and change the other one.
Once your partner becomes responsible for their own doings and their own pains, it frees you from the accountability to take care of their feelings and be responsible for them. This not only makes your partner independent and more confident but also gives you peace of mind. You no more have to put an extra effort into making your partner happy and looking after their needs.
If you see the pain of your partner as your accountability and you become tense when your partner is not in a good mood, your partner might avoid sharing their problems with you. They might start hiding their pain from you in order to keep you away from an emotional burden. This results in a lack of communication and slowly results in the relationship falling apart.
So, once your partner becomes responsible for their feelings in the relationship, they will become more confident, happy, and positive in their lives. It will help them grow and meet themselves.
Tips To Take Accountability in Relationships
1. Stop blaming
Take accountability for your own feelings and actions and stop blaming your partner for everything wrong in your relationship. Understand that as an adult, your happiness and your emotions are only your accountability and you need to take accountability for them. If you keep blaming your husband for everything wrong in your life then it will slowly ruin your marriage.
2. Stop making excuses
Just like blaming, making excuses dissuade you from taking accountability. Stop being the victim and take ownership. Be positive and try to change your behavior. Of course, there will always be things that would be not in your control but to have a healthy relationship you need to have a willingness to make things work.
3. Be calm and composed
Oftentimes when someone tries to make us feel accountable for the situations where we did not take accountability, we become defensive and react. However, to have a healthy relationship it is important that you try to understand where the other person is coming from and try to understand their perspective. So don't immediately react when someone wants you to take ownership rather try to understand the situation.
4. Change your perspective
Stop looking at things only from your own viewpoint and try changing your perspective. In the end, your goal is to make the relationship work, so there is nothing wrong in trying to understand why your partner must have taken a particular action. Keep yourself in their shoes and try to gauge what actions would you have taken in their place.
5. Be honest
If after all the contemplation, you feel that you have made some mistakes then there is nothing wrong in accepting them in front of your partner. Be honest while having a word with them and not only accept but also apologize for your mistakes. Remember, it does not make you small, accepting your mistake first.
6. Write it down
There might be situations when you might feel confused about whether the happenings are your accountability or not. If there are too many thoughts in your head and you are not able to figure out the action that you should take then it is best to start by writing down your feelings.
Afterwards, with a calm mind go through what you have written and you feel that you are not wrong then good! However, if you, like a normal person have made some mistakes then it is time to take accountability for your actions.
7. Take action
Only understanding your mistakes is not important, you also need to take real actions to take accountability in your relationship. Start by showing respect to your partner for what they do in the relationship and make some changes in your behavior.
Accountability is a skill that every relationship needs. To show accountability in a relationship, you need to take ownership of the things that you have done wrong. You also need to practice forgiveness in your relationship, which is not only important for accountability but also trust in a relationship.
To keep your husband accountable, you need to have a discussion with him, which is full of integrity and transparency. You need to let your expectations be known to him and show your trust in him. Also, listen to his explanation quietly and be open to feedback.
To take accountability for your actions, you first need to learn the ability to apologize when you know you have made some mistake. You should stop playing the victim and take accountability for what you have done. Remember your life is yours and you can turn it any way you want.
Relationships require trust, commitment, love, accountability, and communication. All these factors are of equal importance in a relationship and a lack of any one of them can cause problems in relationships.
No, you are not responsible for how your partner feels. Let your partner deal with their emotions in their own way and just be there to provide support. The pain will help your partner build their confidence, character, and integrity. They will become stronger and will learn to fight in any situation that arises.
How has this content spoken to you? Are you comfortable in taking accountability for your mistakes? Do you have more tips that can help in taking accountability in relationships? We would love to hear from you in order to help our readers. Please share your experience below!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.