Many men often accuse women of playing mind games. However, these men are often the ones that play the same mind games. If a man is insecure, he is likely to play mind games with the woman that he is seeing. This is a way that he is trying to gain control over you.
Do you feel like the man that you are seeing is constantly playing games with your mind? Do you need to know why he is playing these mind games with you? Maybe he is trying to hide things from you.
Mind games are very common, especially in the early stages of relationships. While men often accuse women of playing mind games, it is all too common for men to play these mind games on women too! Here are some of the mind games that men tend to play and the reasons why they play them with you.
- 1 Mind Games Men Play
- 1.0.1 1. He pretends he is interested.
- 1.0.2 2. He pretends to be someone he’s not.
- 1.0.3 3. He claims he never dates women of your type.
- 1.0.4 4. He pays you attention but won’t commit.
- 1.0.5 5. He cancels plans at the last minute.
- 1.0.6 6. He’s not consistent.
- 1.0.7 7. He ghosts you.
- 1.0.8 8. He pretends he is spontaneous.
- 1.0.9 9. He avoids serious conversations with you.
- 1.0.10 10. He never takes you out.
- 1.1 11. He is always talking about his ex-girlfriend.
- 1.1.1 12. He won’t define your relationship.
- 1.1.2 13. You haven’t met his family or friends.
- 1.1.3 14. He’s keeping you a secret.
- 1.1.4 15. He treats you differently when you are among his friends.
- 1.1.5 16. He sets weird rules.
- 1.1.6 17. He never texts you first.
- 1.1.7 18. He pretends to be serious about you.
- 1.2 At The End Of The Day…
Why Does He Play Mind Games?
He may be playing mind games with you in order to boost his own ego. If he is a bit insecure he may be trying to get attention from you so that he feels attractive and wanted. This is also a way for him to gain control in a relationship. He may only want one thing.
Perhaps he is insecure and doesn’t feel content in himself. If he is unable to control other aspects of his life, playing mind games with you may give him a feeling of control. However, it is not okay for a man to use you in this way.
He may also be playing mind games with you in order to test himself just to see if he is able to get you. If this is the case, he doesn’t care about your feelings, all he cares about is seeing how good he is at attracting women. He may be bored and just looking for a challenge. He may have no real interest in you, he just wants to prove to himself that he can have you.
If a man is playing mind games with you, he may make you feel guilty. This is one of the common mind games men play. He may make you feel guilty for not doing something for him. Another mind game may be that he blames you and makes you feel like something is your fault when it is not. He may turn his wrong actions on to you.
He may act perfectly on a date just because he only wants one thing from you. This is another one of the common mind games men play. Maybe he knows that if he ignores you, you will come to him. This is one of the games men play in order to try and gain power and control over you.
If you have a gut feeling that he this man is playing mind games on you, then he probably is. Trust your instinct and move on from him.
Here are some of the mind games that men often play with women.
Mind Games Men Play
1. He pretends he is interested.
One of the mind games men play is when he first shows interest in you, then pretends he is no longer interested. This game of mixed signals can be a way of him trying to get you to think and obsess over him. The more of these games he plays the more invested she becomes in him.
2. He pretends to be someone he’s not.
This is a mind game that is very common in online dating. Men play this game by trying to present himself as someone he’s not– maybe by presenting himself as a world traveler or an athlete when he isn’t. Maybe the description on his Tinder profile isn’t very accurate…
3. He claims he never dates women of your type.
Maybe he says he never dates brunettes or he always only dates girls with blonde hair.
4. He pays you attention but won’t commit.
Maybe he gives you lots of expensive and romantic gifts and pays you a lot of attention, by always giving you compliments, etc. This may be his trying to boost his own ego by giving you gifts so that you stay around.
He may like the attention that you give him in return if he treats you in this way. But he is unable to commit to you because he doesn’t want to give up all the other girls that he is treating in the same way. He doesn’t want to lose the attention of multiple girls by committing to just one.
He may pretend that he cares about you and that you matter to him, when in fact he is just keeping you around to boost his own ego.
5. He cancels plans at the last minute.
If he makes plans with you but often cancels them at the last minute he only sees you as an option, not someone that he wants to properly commit to. He may like you but he is not ready to make the commitment to be with you. If he is not ready to commit now, he probably never will.
6. He’s not consistent.
Maybe he is not completely over his last relationship. Maybe he hasn’t even completely finished with his ex-girlfriend and she may still be on his mind. If he is constantly running hot and cold towards you, then this may be why. If he is still thinking about another girl, he won’t be able to totally commit to a relationship with you, no matter how much he likes you.
He may see a potential relationship with you, so he wants to keep you around as an option, but he doesn’t want to commit to completely losing his ex either. He wants to keep both of his options open. He constantly switches between both you and her. Maybe you don’t hear from for weeks on end, and then he pops up in your message inbox again.
In this type of hot and cold relationship game, you can never be quite sure where you stand with this type of man. Maybe talk to him, and if he agrees to walk away completely from his ex then maybe he deserves a chance. If not, it may be time to walk away from this man before he plays more and more games with your mind.
Maybe he’s the type of guy that constantly changes his mind and cannot commit to anything in his life. If he is like this for the rest of his life, he is probably like this when he is in a relationship too. This may indicate that this guy is not mature enough or ready enough to commit to a relationship with you, and you probably deserve better.
If he’s been constantly on and off with you for years it may be time to think about walking away from him. He may be playing mind games with you just to keep you around for his own selfish reasons, despite not having any serious intentions with you.
He may be doing enough just to keep you interested but then backs away when he feels as if you are getting to close. Maybe he is afraid of ultimately getting hurt if he commits to a relationship, but at the same time, this is not fair on you. If he acts like this he is either not a nice guy or he has issues that he needs to deal with before he commits to anyone.
Maybe if you talk to him about it and he admits to working on himself, perhaps he deserves a chance. But otherwise, walk away because you deserve someone who will treat you better than to play these sorts of relationship games.
7. He ghosts you.
Perhaps you had a lovely, romantic date with him and he said that he did too. But then he suddenly stops texting you back afterward. Maybe he hasn’t text you back for a week after your date and you have no idea where you stand.
If you both had a great time on your date last night, you got on really well and the conversation never stopped, but the next day he is acting differently towards you. He may be scared of the feelings he is developing for you and is now distancing himself. His fear may explain his change in mood.
He may never have felt this way about someone before, and the intense feelings may be scaring him. But you won’t know for sure until you talk to him about him. If his behavior is not a game and he is really scared, then you need to be understanding and patient with him.
There may be many reasons why this man may play mind games with you. He may be scared to commit, he may have come out of a painful situation in the past, or he may just not be that interested in you. He may even be seeing multiple women at the same time, this may explain why he isn’t that interested in you.
If he doesn’t reply to your texts after a week, stop wasting your thoughts on him if he is going to play this game with you. This is one of the games men play if they are not really that bothered. One of the dating mistakes that women make is spending too much time thinking about guys like this. He just isn’t worth your worry.
8. He pretends he is spontaneous.
He may try to pass off his behavior as being spontaneous when actually he just doesn’t care enough or can’t be bothered to plan to spend proper time with you. If he really cared for you, he would make time for you rather than just seeing you when it suits him.
9. He avoids serious conversations with you.
Some men may consistently avoid having serious conversations about the future. Maybe you have been seeing a guy for months but every time you start about the future, he starts acting weird, avoids the conversation and changes the subject.
If he refuses to call you his girlfriend he may be scared of commitment or has been through a painful experience with a previous girlfriend. You won’t be able to force him into committing to you, but you need to talk to him about how he is feeling. If he is honest with you and tells you how he feels, you may just need to give him time.
If he is just avoiding the conversation because he simply doesn’t care enough then this is another story. If he is not scared of commitment and he has no reason to act in this way, then it may be time to move on with him if you know deep down that you won’t have a future with him.
Some men may never accept the idea of commitment. It is better to know this as soon as possible. The more you invest in this type of guy, the harder it will be in the future to move on. If he is playing this type of game with you, you either need to have a serious conversation with him or walk away from him. You don’t want to end up with a broken heart.
10. He never takes you out.
He only wants one thing from you. He may pretend to like you just because he wants that one thing from you, but he doesn’t have any intention of committing to you fully. If he did like you enough to want a future he would treat you better and take you out on romantic dates rather than just spending time in your bed.
He may be pretending to care about you more than he actually does, just so that he can get into your bed. Maybe he gives you loads of compliments and gifts but he never takes you out, this is a sign that he is trying to make you think that he cares more than he actually does.
If he is not willing to put the proper time into you, then he is probably just keeping you around for one reason. Don’t be fooled by his gifts and his words, if he is not ready to invest his time into you and your relationship.
This type of man is never going to change, and you do not deserve having to put up with this type of mind game. You deserve to date a man that treats you properly and will actually commit to a future with you. No one will change this type of guy, it is probably time to walk away from him.
11. He is always talking about his ex-girlfriend.
If this man is always talking about his past relationships and the women he dated before you, then this is something you shouldn’t have to put up with. He is probably not over his previous girlfriend, but he is only using you to boost his ego. He is keeping you around just for this purpose. He probably won’t commit to you, ever.
12. He won’t define your relationship.
If you have been seeing this man for a long time but he refuses to define your relationship status clearly. You are probably wondering why your relationship isn’t moving forward. Perhaps when you ask him why your relationship isn’t going anywhere he only gives you vague answers.
He likely is happy with the lack of responsibility for this stage of the relationship and doesn’t want it to progress any further. He wants things to stay as they are so he may play mind games with you. But if this isn’t making you happy then you need to walk away.
13. You haven’t met his family or friends.
If he doesn’t introduce you to the important people of your life then he probably doesn’t think much of you or see a future with you. He may be afraid of commitment or he may be just keeping you around so he’s not bored, but this is not good enough.
While many women may put up with this game men play, you shouldn’t have to. He should treat you better. If he sees a future with you he will introduce you to the important people in his life. If he isn’t doing this, then perhaps it is time to decide whether you are wasting your time with this guy.
If you are sure that you want a future with him, it may not be worth your time to stick around if he is playing this sort of mind game with you. If he really cares, he will introduce you to his favorite people. If he hasn’t or hasn’t expressed any intention to, then this guy may not deserve you.
14. He’s keeping you a secret.
Maybe he is the most caring guy and he treats you really well when it is just the two of you alone. But you never spend any time with his friends or family. He may be playing a game with you. If he is keeping you a secret from his friends and family, then this is a sign that he is not committed to you.
If you have been seeing him for a while but he hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends or family then he doesn’t see you as an important part of his life. If he really cared about you, then he would be happy to show his new girlfriend to them. This game may indicate that he doesn’t have very strong feelings for you and he doesn’t see a future.
Ask him why you have never met his friends or family and say that you want to meet them. If he agrees, then you have nothing to worry about. Otherwise, he may be time to end this game he is playing with you and walk away.
15. He treats you differently when you are among his friends.
If he treats you amazingly when you are alone with him, but as soon as you spend time with him among his friends, he acts completely differently, you may be confused. Perhaps he is mean to you. This may be a sign of his insecurities. He may feel like he needs to show off and show his power.
If he makes mean comments about you around his friends, this is not something that you should accept. You need to call him out on his behavior and ask him why he changes among his friends. If he makes an effort to change his behavior after you have spoken about it then great. Otherwise, he may not be the nice guy that you once thought.
If he never alters his behavior and continues to treat you in this way among his friends, it may be time to break things off with him.
16. He sets weird rules.
Maybe he gives you expensive presents but doesn’t want you to be around on his birthday. Maybe he refuses to introduce you to his family but you have met his friends. Perhaps he will only agree to stay at your place but he never invites you over to his apartment. Maybe he refuses to ever hold your hand when you are out together.
If he is behaving in this way, then he is not ready to commit to any relationship with you. If he knew what he wanted, he wouldn’t set any rules or boundaries like this with you. It may be time to have a straight conversation with him.
17. He never texts you first.
If he always waits for you to text him and he never makes an effort to text you first, he may be playing mind games with you. He may seem like the perfect guy for you and you may have a great time when you are with him but if he never texts you first, he may not be that interested.
It is important not to chase this type of guy. This may be difficult, especially if you really like him. Stop being the first person to text and see if he texts you first instead. If he cares about you he will eventually make the move to text you. If not, it is probably time to look for someone who will make more of an effort.
If you feel like you are the only one making an effort then it is time to make a change. If you stop texting him and he does text you first, then you know that he does in fact care. If he doesn’t text you, when you have stopped texting first, then he is likely not that interested.
18. He pretends to be serious about you.
This is one of the mind games men play to make women think that they are serious about their relationships when he is actually just keeping you around for one thing. Maybe he is bored and just keeps you around because he doesn’t want to be alone, but isn’t bothered enough to commit to something serious with you.
He may be keeping you around for selfish reasons, maybe to boost his self-esteem or make him himself feel better. He may be bored or not have many friends so he keeps you around to fill his time. He may keep you around because he enjoys how you make him feel or he likes that you look after him but he refuses to commit to anything real.
This type of man may lead you to ask yourself: “Is he playing me ?” He may be keeping you around for these reasons because you are good enough for him for now. But if someone else comes along he may drop you because he isn’t actually committed to you.
At The End Of The Day…
Men play mind games, but that doesn’t mean that you need to put up with them. If he is playing games with your mind, it may be time for you to walk away from him. You probably deserve better than to put up with his games.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.